Missing
by Xandrolar1
Summary: Merlin is missing, and Arthur is torn between his duty as a King and his loyalty and feelings towards Merlin.  Merlin meanwhile is the captive of a viscious king who is trying to break Merlin anyway he knows how.  Merlin Whup, please R&R
1. Arthur

Gone

It had been a month now. A long, arduous month of searching, of waiting of not knowing. But the simple fact of the matter was that Merlin was gone. Not dead. If he was dead then people could mourn, people could find closure. Instead he had left the castle early one morning to gather herb's for Gaius who had been unwell the previous day. He had not been back by the time Arthur should have been roused, so the prince, angry that his servant was late _again_ had stormed into Gaius's chambers, he found the aging physician looking over some books, and had demanded to know where Merlin was. Gaius, confused had assumed he was with Arthur. But had also admitted the herb basket was gone so Merlin was probably out gathering herbs, and had just lost track of time. Arthur had grumbled but knew he couldn't scold Merlin for trying to take care of the old man. Still he did demand that Merlin join him as soon as he was back before he left the room.

* * *

><p>By the time it got to lunch, Arthur was fuming, another servant had had to collect the King's lunch. He had been fuming while he ate, then even more annoyed when he realised he was late for a meeting with the council. He had received several looks as he'd entered but no one had mentioned Arthur's apparent tardiness. But Arthur had silently vowed he'd put Merlin in the stocks for a week.<p>

However by dinner time, any annoyance on his part was forgotten, replaced now by a deep sense of dread. He no longer wanted to scold Merlin, he just wanted to know he was safe. Outside the sun had beg to set as dusk fell across the land. A search at this time of day would be futile, it would become dark before too long and they would easily miss any tracks. Arthur had vowed a if Merlin were not back by morning then he would search for him.

* * *

><p>The first day had been the most harrowing for Arthur and the knights, within a few minutes of leaving the city they had found the remains of Gaius's herb basket lying on the ground half crushed, the reminants of broken herbs within. That had been all they had found for nearly four hours. It was close to two in the afternoon when Elyan spotted a familiar blue piece of cloth snagged on a branch, caught there. Slowly he had picked it off and showed the Neckerchief to Arthur. Arthur had become furious seeing it. There was no way, no way at all Merlin would simply have left it there tangled in the branch. He had so few possessions as it was, and his small collection of Neckerchiefs was one of his most important. Arthur had gripped the cloth as the knights spread out, searching for something, anything else.<p>

Arthur had called a halt to the search when dusk had begun to fall again, admitting they would not find much in the darkness. Instead he had left Gwaine and Percival behind to continue the search.

* * *

><p>And search they had. For days, until they had returned dejected and empty handed. Arthur had become despondent, riding out himself alone, or with the knights, always coming back less and less the prince they had all grown to love, and people had begun to ask why the king was expanding so much man power over a simple servant, yes Merlin had been popular and much loved, and it was tragic that he was missing, but a King was meant to maintain certain standards. And deep within his own heart Arthur knew this to be true. And he also knew that wherever he was, Merlin would forgive him, would want him to get on with his life, with his duty. So, finally after a month of fruitless searching, and also several trips to Merlin's home village, Arthur had gathered the knights, Gwen and Gaius in the audience chamber and informed them that it was time to call the search off. No one had been happy with the decision, but all of them, save Gwaine, had seen the wisdom in the King's actions. A kingdom did not go on hold simply because of a missing servant. Duties still had to be performed, the kingdom still had to be ruled.<p>

* * *

><p>It was night and Arthur sat alone on his bed, still in his armour. Outside wind battered at the window. Tears streaming from his eyes, tears he would allow no one else to see, Arthur stood and walked over to the window.<p>

"I miss you Merlin" he muttered. Slowly he wiped away the tears on his cheeks. If Merlin had been dead that would have been tragic. But this, no this was far worse. At least if he was dead they would have a body to mourn. With his simple vanishing they were all left with knowledge that he could still be alive, but being beaten, or worse. With a sigh he looked over as the door opened and Gaius entered holding the Neckerchief. Slowly he handed it to Arthur. Arthur looked at it quizzically, then at Gaius.

"Wherever he is my lord, a part of him will always be at your side" Gaius said softly. Arthur looked back at the Neckerchief, fresh tears welling in his eyes. Gaius pulled him into an embrace and let the king do what he could not, not until he was back in the Pharmacy. He let the king mourn the loss of a very dear, brave friend. And if anyone else but Gaius had seen Arthur in that instant, he knew that Arthur would not deny how he was feeling in that moment.


	2. Merlin

Merlin awoke to the sound of the creaking door being opened. He looked up through squinting eyes at the silhouette that regarded him. His eyes were squinting, not because of any light, for there was none in this godforsaken little cell, but because of the bruises that covered his face. Merlin slowly got to his knees, swaying as he looked up at his captor, even as the man knelt down next to him, regarding him almost as if he was a prize side of beef at the market.

"not sayin' nothing" Merlin said through ragged breaths. The man laughed at him.

"I must say, I really am impressed. Most servant's don't even last an hour under my… persuasive techniques, even those with magic fall within a day, or no more than two. You on the other hand, you're something of the find, the exception rather than the rule" the man said, his cultured voice whispering around the room.

"Glad t… to disappoint" Merlin told him. The man laughed then grabbed the back of Merlin's blood splotched hair before yanking it, and his head back.

"Don't think for one moment you can get the best of me boy. I have broken far better and nobler than you in the course of my career" he hissed into Merlin's ear. Merlin closed his eyes, waiting for the blow or kick he knew was coming. Instead the man, still clutching Merlin by the hair yanked him to his feet.

"Why are you so loyal to a King that treats you like dirt?" the man suddenly demanded.

"I doubt you understand that concept" Merlin replied through gritted teeth, wincing as the cuts on his lips split open again. The man laughed at him then and suddenly let go of Merlin, allowing him to drop to the floor like a marionette who's strings had been cut.

"You really think you can out last me?" asked the Man.

"I will die before I betray my King" Merlin told him. The man slowly knelt down again.

"And yet, your king has betrayed you Merlin" he said, almost gently. "The shadows whisper to me, the search is off, your King has abandoned you" he explained.

"Good, then he can get on with his life" Merlin replied.

"You are insufferable! You feel no malice towards him? At all?" he demanded.

"I feel no hatred towards anyone. Not even you" Merlin said. "Arthur was right to call off the search, it's what I would have done in his place" Merlin said. The man punched him around the face hard, opening a sore on his cheek.

"Oh you _will_ learn to hate me, I promise you that" he said rising. Merlin, trembling looked up at him.

"Fear you, maybe, pity you, you already have my pity. But I will not hate you" Merlin told him. The man snarled and then kicked out, causing Merlin's already damaged ribs to protest even more. Merlin gasped and fell forwards, taking short breaths, fighting to remain conscious.

"As I said Merlin, you will learn to hate me" the man said before turning and leaving the dark cell.

Merlin remained leaning forwards for several moments, before the pain finally began to subside. It was blind pure stupid luck that the cuffs he had placed around Merlin's wrists were enchanted to be used on sorcerers and magic users, designed to effectively prevent any usage of magic. It made the transport of magic users a lot less dangerous, for while they were bound within these cuffs, they were, for all intents, normal people. Merlin looked at the intricate design that spiralled around them, realising that his wrists were probably the only part of his body that hadn't been beaten or cut in someway. Slowly he sat back up, attempting to take a deep breath, wincing at the very sharp pain he felt. Slowly he went over the days he had spent here, in this unknown place, with his captor his only company.

* * *

><p>It had been a quiet enough morning, Merlin having got up a little earlier to collect some herbs for Gaius that the man had been running low on, and the fact was, Gaius hadn't been well the day before, and there was no way Merlin was going to let his friend and mentor have to go through the whole collecting of herbs in the chilly morning. So Merlin had picked up the basket and gone himself.<p>

He remembered going down to the little stream that ran just southwest of the city, Gaius had taken him there several times to collect Belladonna, which was one of the herbs he was running low on. He'd been picking them, gently placing them in the basket just the way Gaius had shown him, soon finding himself absorbed in the process. So absorbed in fact that when the shadow fell across him he hadn't noticed at first. He'd dropped the basket and turned, only to see a flash of gold in the eyes of a brutal looking man before the world collapsed into darkness.

* * *

><p>When he'd awoken it had been in this same cell. And the first thing he noticed was the cuffs around his wrists. He'd attempted to remove them with his magic, had in fact felt his magic rise up inside him only to suddenly die away. He's tried again, and then a third time with no success, and eventually tried the physical approach. Banging them on the walls, the floor, even the iron door, all it had gotten him was a bruised knuckle and cuffs that were none the worse off. Giving up on the cuffs for the moment he decided to take a mental note of his physical condition. There was a slight bruise on his left side, possibly from where he'd fallen, and he also realised that his Neckerchief was missing. The bright blue one Arthur had given to him months earlier. Merlin had never found out why Arthur had given him that, but still, he'd treasured it. It wasn't every servant who received gifts from their king. With a sigh he'd taken to exploring the tiny room. There was no window, and the only light that entered it was from the hallway outside through the small barred window in it, apart from that there was nothing, no bed, no bucket to relieve himself, not even a small mound of straw. The floor itself was tiled in smooth stone, cold to the touch, which drew Merlin's attention to his bare feet. Why his captor, or captors had taken hi shoes was a mystery. They weren't exactly the height of fashion.<p>

He'd turned his attention to the door then. Pulling it withal his might, of course it did not budge, either locked with a key or magically Merlin didn't know, but to be honest, looking at the rust on it, he had a good idea it was being held closed with magic. So finally he had settled himself down on the floor, leaning up against the wall and waited. There was nothing else to do. He lost count of the hours he'd waited there until finally the door had opened and the man from earlier had walked in. He regarded Merlin with a small amount of interest.

"You're awake I see" he said as he stepped into the small room.

"And you're a master of observation I see" Merlin countered, feeling his anger rising ever so slightly.

"Ahh, so I was right. You are the Kings servant then" the man stated.

"The king? Are you serious?" Merlin asked.

"Don't play games Merlin, if anything is a famous as your beloved Arthur, it is the… rapport you share with him. How many servant's do you think could get away with the arrogance _you_ seem to possess?" he asked. "That's probably why the people love you just as much as him" the man said.

"Who are you?" Merlin demanded.

"Who I am is not important, what I want however, well that _is_ very important" he replied. "And you, Merlin, are going to tell me everything about your lord and master"

"I seriously doubt it" Merlin said with a chuckle, the man had reached forwards then and grabbed him roughly.

"Oh you'll speak Merlin, because believe me, I _always_ get what I want, no matter what I have to do to get it" he had said.

* * *

><p>The man had been true to his word, the beatings had begun that day, followed over the course of several days by more extravagant torture methods, whipping, and knives, among some of his more deadly methods. Merlin had not broke by the end of the first week. And had promptly been knocked unconscious again.<p>

* * *

><p>When Merlin awoke the second time, he found he had been stripped of his tunic and was hanging in another room, torches flickering on the walls. The man was sitting on a chair, regarding him, a cruel smile breaking his features.<p>

"Welcome back Merlin" he said as he stood. Merlin found his gaze going over to a nearby table with an assortment of devices arrayed upon them. Some he knew from descriptions in books Gaius owned, other's he could hazard a guess at and still more he had no idea of. The man had chuckled and picked up a nasty looking device and turned towards Merlin. He'd approached him, allowing Merlin to see the sharp blade like protrusions from it.

"I call it Cat's paw" the man had said as he rubbed the leather part of it on Merlin's arm. "For like a cat it can be a soft, almost pleasurable creature" he said, then whipped the device around and raked it down Merlin's arm. Merlin had screamed as the blades drew blood. "Until it shows it's claws that is" the man had finished, turning away while Merlin had hissed in pain. Laughing the man had placed it back on the table, before he picked up a studded glove. The knuckles of the glove were studded. Slowly he'd put it on, then turned back to Merlin before punching him hard in the face. Merlin felt skin break, and was sure a tooth cracked.

"Now, Merlin. Why don't we have a chat?" he asked.

"Go to hell" Merlin had muttered.

"I was hoping you'd say that" the man had replied.

* * *

><p>The beatings had continued almost daily from that point. Merlin had been unconscious for the majority of most days, and the fact he only ever saw either this cell or the torture chamber, he'd lost track of the days. He didn't even know if it was night or day. But that didn't matter to him. All that mattered was getting out. However Merlin was sure that day would not be today, as the rusty door opened again and the man stepped back in.<p>

"Time to talk Merlin" he said. Merlin tried to back up even more, but it was no use. The man, laughing walked in and grabbed Merlin roughly by the arm before dragging his protesting body out of the cell.


	3. Gwaine and Percival

Gwaine was livid. Of all the knights he had been the most affected by Merlin's disappearance. Usually cheerful and talkative, Gwaine was now a shadow of his former self. He did his duty as was required, but when that duty was done he would withdraw once again into the shell he had placed around himself. Of course, everyone knew the knight had a soft spot, almost a weakness when it came to Merlin. The two were close friends having helped each other time and again. The other knights had noticed this, all of them becoming worried at Gwaine's increasing visits to the tavern, where he would often drink himself into such a stupor that he had been unable to even stand, let alone get himself home. Several times the other knights had gone to his rescue, but he never thanked them, he never even gave a word of acknowledgement.

It was, of all the knights, Percival who noticed the most disturbing aspect of Gwaine's current state. It wasn't his drunkenness, or even his silence that worried the other knight. It was that now when he looked into his friend's eyes he found them almost lifeless. And it frightened Percival more than anything. For his actions spoke of recklessness, or solitude, but his eyes, they spoke of pain, worry, and a deep unending sadness that now permeated Gwaine's essence. For all intent's Percival realised he was watching the Gwaine he knew slowly dying.

* * *

><p>It was one night, about a week after Arthur had called off the search, and after a particularly bad experience at the tavern that Percival had rescued Gwaine again. However, he had been shocked to see the other man was not drunk, not even close. But his manner was utterly foreign to Percival.<p>

The call had come in at around nine in the evening, a disturbance at the Tavern, Percival had been speaking to Leon at the time, and had offered to go and retrieve their wayward friend. Leon had agreed, and so Percival had gone. Upon entering the Tavern he _had_ expected to see Gwaine nearly passed out at one of the tables, as was the norm. What he _hadn't_ expected was to see Gwaine standing over the prone form of Arthur's new manservant, a youngish lad, with ginger hair, and now sporting a bloody nose, and looking up at the knight with a hefty amount of fear in his eyes. Percival had quickly intervened, sending the boy to Gaius, before taking Gwaine outside. Gwaine had remained silent, the anger that had been etched on his face when Percival had entered had been drained away, replaced by… what? Percival couldn't tell. Gwaine's features were always closed now. Slowly he took Gwaine's arm and led him slowly through the streets not towards the Castle, but towards the small town square, which at this time of night would be all but deserted.

* * *

><p>Slowly Percival had sat Gwaine down the bench in the centre of the square, before he himself had sat next to him. Gwaine simply stared ahead, Percival just sitting there, offering his friend his support without even speaking.<p>

"I suppose you think I should apologise to him" Gwaine said suddenly. Percival looked at him and shrugged.

"What did he do?" he asked. Gwaine sighed.

"He made a comment about Merlin"

"A comment? You beat him up because of a comment?" asked Percival.

"No one insults Merlin, its one thing to joke, but to insult a man who's not even here to defend himself… No, that's something I'll never overlook" Gwaine said, falling quiet again.

"What did he say?" asked Percival after a few silent moments.

"That Merlin was ultimately useless, disrespectful and that Arthur was well rid of him" Gwaine said. Percival was taken aback, he'd thought Merlin had been well liked. Still. jealousy was a horrid emotion. So instead of replying, he just nodded, as if agreeing with Gwaine's actions. Suddenly Gwaine sighed.

"Merlin's dead isn't he?" Gwaine's voice was soft, sad. Tinged with a raw emotion Percival had never recalled hearing before. Slowly Percival shrugged.

"I hope not" the big knight replied honestly.

"Then why isn't he here?" Gwaine asked. "Why hasn't he come back to us?" he asked, sounding more like a five year old child then a knight of Camelot.

"I don't know Gwaine" Percival had told him gently. Gwaine looked at him, then suddenly stood up, anger beginning to register on his face again.

"Arthur's wrong, am I the only one who can see that?" he demanded. "Everything that man did for him and look, just over a month and he has a bootlicker and everything's back to normal!" he roared.

"Gwaine, We all miss Merlin, even Arthur, but he cannot put his duty on hold" Percival said.

"Duty. Honour. What bullshit is that when you can't act honourably towards someone you care about!" Gwaine said. "Arthur didn't care about Merlin, not ever" Gwaine spat as he sat back down. Percival put his hand on Gwaine's shoulder, the other man looking at him.

"You're wrong Gwaine, you don't give our King enough credit" Percival said.

"What do you know about it? I didn't hear you protesting about the search being called off!"

"Because, as I stated, there were valid reasons, a kingdom cannot stop for one man alone Gwaine, no matter how much he is cared for. And as for how do I know Arthur is suffering? I'll tell you. Its because I see. I'm not one for small talk, not much talk at all actually, and you'd be surprised at how many people forget I'm there when I stay silent" Percival said. "So instead of talking, I watch. I watch people, I watch those I care about" it was admittedly, the longest speech Gwaine could recall hearing Percival make. "and I've watched you, all of you, over the past month, and I can tell you Gwaine, no matter how Arthur acts around us, it is just an act. He's in more pain than any of us can ever realise" Percival told him. Gwaine frowned and shook his head.

"Then why not let _us_ keep looking?" asked Gwaine. Percival smiled at him.

"Because he's just lost someone dear to him, and he gives it the show of not being affected, but deep down I think he's terrified he'll lose someone else he cares about" Percival said.

"I think you're the one who's been drinking" Gwaine muttered.

"I'm serious Gwaine, Arthur cares for all of us, more then he should" Percival told him. Gwaine snorted and stood up.

"You know what? I don't care" he announced. "Tomorrow I'm setting out, by myself I have to and I'm not coming back until I've found Merlin or his body" he said. "But I vow I will not rest until I've found my friend" he added, then stormed off, Percival watching him go. Slowly Percival sighed and stood.

"You won't be alone my friend" he promised.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Gwaine was called before an irate King. He entered the audience chamber, feeling the kings glare upon him, yet not caring one bit. The snivelling little git now standing beside Arthur didn't exist to Gwaine, even though he'd been solid enough when Gwaine had decked him.<p>

"Henry, is this the man who assaulted you?" Arthur asked, gesturing to Gwaine.

"He is my lord, and with no reason" Henry replied. Arthur looked at Gwaine, then turned to Henry.

"With no reason?" he asked mildly. "That does not sound like Sir Gwaine" Arthur said.

"I was merle getting a drink sire" Henry replied. Arthur nodded, then sighed.

"And the bar keeper? Was he lying Henry? When he said you were goading Sir Gwaine here?, or the waitress? Or the people from the town? Were _they _lying Henry?" Arthur demanded. Henry looked shocked and his eyes shot wide.

"Sire I-"

"You may have your opinions of people Henry, and freedom of speech is something I pride myself on allowing people to have. That courtesy only goes so far, Merlin was important to a lot of people, including me"

"But he's just a servant" Henry protested.

"Wrong Henry, he was much more than that. Now I would suggest you take your belongings and look for work in the town, I will not be needing your services anymore" Arthur said. Henry gaped at him, like a fish out of water, then with an acid glare at Gwaine, and a stiff bow to Arthur the man turned and stormed out. Gwaine watched the entire exchange, mouth open wide, then looked over to see Percival standing just in the doorway, having entered just after him. Slowly Percival nodded at him, then left the room, leaving Arthur and Gwaine alone. Arthur regarded Gwaine, then slowly sat down.

"The rumour mill has it your planning on riding out on some fools quest to find Merlin" Arthur said.

"I plan to yes. I need to know Arthur, if he's alive, or if he'd dead. But I can't go on like this, pretending everything is normal" Gwaine said. Arthur nodded at him.

"And you were planning on telling me when?" Arthur asked.

"After you dressed me down this morning" Gwaine admitted.

"I see. Well, Gwaine, I certainly did not see you and Percival take a horse, I had no idea of where you were going or what you were planning, and I have no idea of what you're actually up to" Arthur said with a sly wink. Gwaine smiled for the first time in over a month and bowed.

"Thank you…. Sire" he said. Arthur had just effectively granted his permission for the search to begin again, but to save face he was being coy. As far as anyone else was aware, Gwaine and Percival would be acting on their own accord. The council would be satisfied that Arthur had put Merlin out of his mind and was getting on with running the kingdom.

"For what?" Arthur asked with a smile. Gwaine nodded and turned, moving towards the door. "And Gwaine" Arthur said. Gwaine turned back to face him. "If you should happen to find a certain person while you two are out doing whatever you're doing, bring him home safely" Arthur said. Gwaine smiled and frowned.

"I don't know what you mean" he replied.

"you were always a little slow" Arthur said. "Go. Find him" he said. Gwaine nodded and quickly left the room, Arthur watching him.

* * *

><p>Gwaine found Percival already waiting for him by the stables. Quickly he mounted up and the two left the courtyard.<p>

"Thank you" Gwaine said softly. Beside him Percival smiled.

"You can thank me when we've got Merlin back" Percival said. Gwaine nodded and smiled. He'd been wrong about Arthur, and the last few minuets with him had proven to Gwaine just how correct Percival had been the night before.

As soon as they left the confines of the city, they broke into a gallop.

* * *

><p>"Where are they going?" asked Elyan as he stood next to Leon, watching Gwaine and Percival riding out. Leon smiled and looked at him.<p>

"Who would that be? I certainly didn't see anyone going out to look for someone. Are you saying you did?" Leon asked. Elyan smiled and shook his head.

"Must have been a trick of the light" he said.

"Must have been"


	4. A Rescue too Late

Merlin sat in the corner of his little cell, shivering as he tried to sleep, afraid to do so as it meant his torturer would be back that much sooner. Also the man had taken to entering the cell during the night, sometimes simply watching Merlin as if gauging how useful the manservant really was, and other times to taunt him softly with the promise of new pain. Merlin tried to shut him out, sometimes he succeed, other times he found his will slowly beginning to break. Sometimes the man would come for hours at a time, and others, only a few minutes before he left again. So Merlin despaired of sleep for two reasons really. The first because of the torture, the second, because he did not know what the man would do if he found Merlin sleeping. So as he sat shivering on the cold floor, his clothing in tatters, his flesh marked with scars, cuts and bruises, he found himself silently sobbing. If only the man knew how close to breaking Merlin was now.

* * *

><p>He'd lost track of the days, the nights, long ago. He could have been here two months or little more than one, but there was only one constant in his life now, He would be awoken, fed and watered, then they would go for their little chats, always accompanied by more torture. Slowly he looked over as the rusted iron door opened the man stepping in to regard Merlin coldly.<p>

"Wh…What do you want?" Merlin's voice croaked, his throat sore, his breath catching every so often.

"Why do you do this to yourself Merlin? Why do you persist in protecting Arthur like you do?" the man asked him. Merlin shook his head at him.

"I've told you" he replied, breaking into a cough. The man chuckled and knelt down next to him. Had Merlin the strength, he would have lashed out, knocked his tormentor aside, but his strength had left him long ago.

"True, but even you must realise you're coming to the end now, I have to admit I am impressed you've lived this long. But the truth is Merlin, your body is giving up, every so slowly, a little bit at a time, but it is giving up" he said. "Yet if you would just tell me what I need to hear, what I want to hear, I can make the pain end, I can return you to your home" he said. Merlin chuckled at him, another cough escaping from him.

"You think I'm that naïve?" Merlin asked him.

"Not at all, you hold the power here Merlin, not I. You can chose to end this suffering" he said, his voice almost gentle. Merlin studied the mans features, then closed his eyes.

"You want to know Arthur's weakness?" Merlin asked softly.

"Yes" he hissed in reply. "Tell me and all this will be over"

"Fine. Arthur… Arthur is…." Merlin's voice faltered for a moment.

"Arthur is what?" the man's voice became ragged as he prompted. Merlin suddenly grinned.

"Arthur is going to kick your ass" Merlin said. The man blinked several times, then punched out, Merlin not even having the strength to yell now.

"you play with fire boy and I assure you, you will burn" he sneered.

"good, it's pretty cold in here" Merlin said as he looked back, a fresh welt appearing on his cheek. The man stood, then with a roar kicked him hard in the stomach, doubling Merlin over. Merlin retched as he gasped for breath.

"If this is how you want it to end Merlin then I will not disappoint you. My patients are worn, and you have outstayed your welcome" the man said turning away, slowly he walked to the door, then looked back. "Enjoy your last night on this earth Merlin" he sneered, then turning, walked out of the room, slamming the door closed. Slowly Merlin got control of his breathing, before he fell to the side, huddled into a ball. He knew the man was lying, he'd threatened Merlin with death several times over the past couple of weeks, and each time, even though he'd been particularly brutal to him, he had never done the fateful deed. Slowly Merlin closed his eyes, feeling his battered body surrendering to sleep.

* * *

><p>"GET UP!" Merlin jolted awake, looking up at his tormentors face groggily. The man reached down, even as Merlin attempted to sit up, grabbing him roughly and dragging him from the cell. Merlin wondered what was happening, as he realised he was being dragged <em>past<em> the torture chamber, and further down the narrow hallway.

"Gu… guided tour?" Merlin asked him. The man growled and gripped him arm even tighter, before they reached a large set of doors, which opened, seemingly of their own accord as they approached. The room behind the doors was large, empty save for a window to the right hand side. Merlin found the light painful after so many weeks in darkness and closed his eyes against it. The man threw him to the centre of the room, then moved away, Merlin slowly getting to his knees, eyes still squinting as he looked around. The man moved over to a small annex, then reappeared a moment later holding a large crystal. Slowly he knelt next to Merlin and held it up.

"ooo Pretty" Merlin said as he looked at it.

"How droll Merlin, really" the man replied as he stood. Slowly he paced around Merlin, regarding the beaten manservant "this, Merlin is a Syphon Gem, but I don't expect someone like you to have heard of them" he said. Merlin looked up, he had never heard of them. "You see, I've been thinking, I've been going about this the completely wrong way. I've been beating you, torturing you, threatening you and for what? So you can continue to defy me?" he stated as he reappeared back in front of Merlin. "But with this…" he held the crystal up. "With this Merlin, anyone's deepest thoughts, anyone's darkest fears, desires, wants and needs, all of it will be an open book for me to peruse at my pleasure" he stated. "It does however have the unfortunate side effect of mentally shredding the subjects mind to pieces. What you were will be gone, instead, all that will be left will be an empty shell, not even a shadow of your former self. I told you I would kill you Merlin, I did not say I would destroy your body" The man stated. "Now I give you one final chance. Tell me about Arthur Pendragons weaknesses" he stated.

"Go to hell" Merlin told him. The man sighed and nodded.

"I had hoped you'd be reasonable, however I see that's not the case. Goodbye Merlin" he said as he held the crystal over Merlin. Merlin went to move, only to be kicked to the side, the breath leaving him again.

"Oh, and one more thing, I've been informed the procedure is quite painful" the man said.

Twenty seconds later the light in the room was eclipsed by one even brighter, and the halls of the empty keep echoed with the sounds of Merlin screaming.

* * *

><p>After around fifteen minutes the light died down, and the man lowered the crystal, grinning as he looked down at Merlin's body. Slowly Merlin moved, looking up at him blankly.<p>

"You had your chance, Emrys" the man sneered. Merlin blinked at him sadly, then looked down at the floor, shaking. He knew his name, but that was about it. The man chuckled at him.

"And at last I know the truth. Arthur's weakness, his reliance on those around him. Oh I do hope they'll be as entertaining as you" the man said, before he reached down and grabbed Merlin. Merlin shrieked and tried to batter him away, his physical strength no match for that of the mans own strength. It was then, a moment later the great double doors burst open and the man swung around to see Gwaine and Percival glaring at him.

"Put him down now" Gwaine stated. The man smiled and complied, letting Merlin slump to the ground.

"You want him? You can have what's left of him, I have what I need" the man stated, then with a grin, vanished. Merlin lay in a sobbing heap on the floor, Gwaine breaking into a run as he approached him. Merlin looked up at the sound, trying to back away in fear.

"Oh Merlin, what's he done to you?" Gwaine's voice caught in his throat. Merlin looked up through tear streaked eyes.

"Hurt" he said simply. Gwaine felt his own eyes watering as he slowly knelt down next to him, his eyes taking in the physical injuries on his friend, also, worryingly was the fact of how thin Merlin was. Gwaine slowly reached out, and Merlin gasped closing his eyes.

"Easy, I'm not going to hurt you Merlin" Gwaine said gently. Merlin looked up at him, blinking, looking at Gwaine's outstretched hand.

"We're your friends Merlin" Percival said, just as gently. Merlin looked at him, then at Gwaine.

"That's right Merlin, friends" Gwaine said, his heart breaking at Merlin's wide eyed terror. Slowly however he reached up and took Gwaine's offered hand, Gwaine smiling as he gently stood, supporting Merlin with one arm, while Percival stood on the other side of him.

"Home?" Merlin asked softly.

"That's right Merlin, we're taking you home" Gwaine said. Merlin looked at him, his eyes more trusting then before, Then he gasped as his legs gave out from under him. The two knights grabbed him to stop him hitting the floor, Merlin gripping them as if his life depended on it.

"I swear I am going to kill that bastard when I find him" Gwaine vowed.

"Let's get him to Gaius first" Percival suggested. Gwaine nodded, then watched as Percival gently lifted Merlin up, holding him as one would a small child. Merlin not even struggling to get down, as he would have done.

* * *

><p>Outside the keep, Merlin began to whimper, closing his eyes tightly, burying his face into Percival's shoulder. The sun was high in the sky and when Gwaine looked from behind he saw Merlin's eyes shut in pain.<p>

"Merlin, is the light hurting your eyes?" asked Gwaine softly. Merlin nodded, eyes still closed.

"Don't worry Merlin, we won't be in the light long okay" Percival assured him.

"'k" Merlin replied quietly.

* * *

><p>In one of the upper rooms of the keep the man looked out, watching as the two knights took Merlin away. Slowly he grinned. He'd be seeing them all again soon enough. Turning away from the window he walked back into the shadows.<p>

* * *

><p>They rode quietly and slowly so as not to jostle Merlin's already extreme wounds anymore then they already had been. It had angered Gwaine that Merlin had been so close to Camelot the entire time. The fact that he himself had led the search through that same keep the first week Merlin had gone missing. How he had missed Merlin or his tormentor was beyond him. But then he realised the man had used magic, so for all Gwaine knew, perhaps he <em>had<em> walked past Merlin several times that day and just never seen or heard him. As it was, he and Percival reached Camelot in the early evening, while Arthur had been speaking to Leon and Elyan. Leon had seen them first, and Arthur had turned, his face going pale as he saw Merlin's battered, sleeping body draped gently over Percival's horse.

Arthur ran over, calling out, not caring who was watching, even as Gwen ran down the steps, Gaius at her side. Merlin awoke and looked at Arthur, moving into Percival in fright. Arthur slowed as Percival and Gwaine reassured the terrified man.

"Merlin? Its me, don't you recognise me?" Arthur asked. Merlin shook his head.

"My god, what happened to you" Gwen asked as she took in his appearance. Merlin looked down at himself.

"M' sorry" he muttered.

"Oh my dear boy" Gaius said gently as Percival helped him down. Gwaine moved over to him and gently took Merlin's arm.

"Come on, lets get you looked at yeah?" Gwaine said gently. Merlin nodded as he looked around the courtyard at the concerned faces, before Gwaine and Percival gently led him inside, Gaius following, Arthur and Gwen following a moment later.

* * *

><p>Merlin sat shaking on the bed as Gaius tended to his wounds.<p>

"Gaius?" asked Arthur concerned, as he stood next to Gwen, Gwaine and Percival.

"His wounds are severe sire, and some of them have become deeply infected, they will take a great amount of time to heal" Gaius said.

"What happened out there?" asked Arthur, his voice catching as he turned to Gwaine and Percival.

"We were out by the old keep, not sure where to head to, then we heard it, heard Merlin" Gwaine said.

"Heard Merlin?" asked Arthur. "what do you mean heard him? Had he escaped?" he asked.

"No, he was screaming" Percival told him. "We followed the sounds to the keep, when we found him he was quivering on the floor with a man standing over him, holding a crystal"

"He escaped, the man that is. Used Magic" Gwaine said. Arthur's face turned to thunder as he looked back at Merlin.

"Gaius why is he like this?" he asked. Gaius shrugged.

"I do not know, but I intend to find out" he said.

"Didn't tell him" Merlin shook his head as he suddenly spoke up.

"Didn't tell him what Merlin?" asked Gwen gently. Merlin looked up at her shaking his head.

"Art'er. Didn't tell him about Art'er" he said, still shaking his head.

"He wanted information about me?" Arthur asked.

"Wouldn't tell him… hurt" Merlin said as he began to cry. Gwen turned away, to stop Merlin seeing her sobbing. Beside Arthur Gwaine suddenly turned and stormed out. Gaius gently sat next to Merlin.

"it's okay Merlin" his voice was gentle. Come, lets put you in bed, you need rest" he said softly, helping Merlin to stand. He led Merlin to his room, and opened the door, Merlin suddenly backing away from the small room shaking his head.

"Merlin?" asked Gaius.

"No!" Merlin shouted, seeing instead, not his own familiar room, but the small dark cell that had been his prison.

"Okay. You can sleep out here" Gaius said, shooting a look at Arthur. Merlin looked at him as Gaius led him to his bed, Merlin settling down as Gaius pulled the covers over him. Merlin settled down, but reached out to stop Gaius blowing the candle out. Gaius relented and moved over to Arthur and Gwen, who was still faced away. Percival pulling over a chair and sitting next to Merlin.

"Well?" asked Arthur, his voice a whisper.

"By the sound of it, I would say Merlin has been tortured, and badly" Gaius said.

"He said he didn't tell him…" Gwen looked from Arthur to Gaius.

"Merlin took the beatings rather then betray me" Arthur said, feeling sick. "But why is he… why is he confused? Why does he not recognise me?" asked Arthur.

"In truth sire, if the man who took Merlin was indeed a sorcerer… there are ways and means to get information using magic, none of them without risk, it could be a case that this sorcerer invaded Merlin's mind, forced his way inside, took the information he wanted" said Gaius.

"Can someone really do that?" asked Gwen.

"Yes, I'm afraid it's all too possible" Gaius told her. "Merlin may have held out against the physical assault, but something like that…" Gaius's voice trailed off.

"Gaius?" asked Arthur softly.

"It would rip his memory to shreds Arthur, Merlin may remember us, but only on the most basic level now" he said.

"And everything he's done?"

"Some of it may remain intact, as you can see he remembers something about why this was done to him, but it will not be a lot" Gaius said.

"And there is nothing we can do?" asked Arthur.

"All we can do is be there for him Sire. In cases when someone has had their memory forcefully entered, only madness is usually left" Gaius said. Arthur looked over at Merlin who was looking around the room, blinking every so often, his face and features, so normally open, now withdrawn and afraid, and above all else, Merlin looked more lost and alone than anyone had ever seen him. Everyone jumped suddenly when the door opened and Gwaine re-entered the room, his eyes red rimmed.

"Sorry" he said softly. Arthur shook his head.

"No. I am, I should never have stopped looking for him" Arthur said. "This is my fault he's like this"

"You weren't to know, not with a certainty" Gaius told him.

"Yet, look at what I did. Something told me he was in trouble. And I _still_ ignored my feelings, pleasing the damned council" he muttered with contempt. "He's my friend Gaius, and I failed him" Gaius smiled sadly.

"Arthur, do you think Merlin would want you beating yourself up over what has happened?" he asked. Arthur looked at him, but remained silent, then back over at Merlin, who seemed to have fallen asleep.

"Make sure he's comfortable, and see about getting those damned cuffs off his wrists" Arthur said, then walked out. Gaius looked at Gwen.

"I'll make sure Arthur's alright" she assured him. Gaius nodded, then looked at Gwaine as Gwen left.

"I'm not leaving Gaius, you can call the guards or whatever, but I will not leave him" Gwaine said. Gaius nodded and watched as Gwaine moved over and took over from Percival, who stood and whispered something to him. Gwaine nodded and sat down, Gaius watching as Percival left the room.


	5. Merlin Gwaine and Gaius

Gwaine had remained true to his word, never leaving Merlin's side for very long, always there when he awoke, always there when he went to sleep, just so Merlin would know he was cared for. Another reason he stayed however was, during the week Merlin had been recovering from his physical injuries, Gwaine had hoped his constant presence would somehow jar Merlin's memory, no matter how little. It had been something Gaius had suggested, that if they could not treat what had been done to Merlin, they might somehow begin to rebuild his memories.

As Merlin slept, Gwaine found his thought trickling over to Arthur, to how unjust he'd been towards the king of late. Arthur had been caught in an untenable position, between his loyalty to a friend, and his duty to his kingdom. It was only after their brief encounter in the audience chamber that Gwaine had come to realise the true feelings Arthur held for Merlin. Gwaine and Merlin were friends, good friends, truth be told, but to Arthur, Merlin had become family. It was humbling for Gwaine to realise just how wrong one persons perceptions could be.

"how is he?" Gaius asked gently from behind Gwaine.

"Just sleeping" Gwaine replied just as gently so as to not wake Merlin.

"Good, he needs to rest, to heal" Gaius said, then unexpectedly placed a hand on Gwaine's shoulder. The knight looked up at him.

"I know he cannot thank you for staying with him, but I can" Gaius said softly. "so I say thank you Gwaine, for both of us" Gaius said. Gwaine shook his head.

"I do not do it for thank Gaius, I do it because I choose too" Gwaine said. Gaius smiled at him and nodded.

"I just.. I still can't forget the look in his eyes, the terror when Percival and I found him. I can't understand it Gaius, why anyone could treat another person in such a way" Gwaine said, looking back at Merlin. Gaius slowly sat down next to Gwaine and gently placed his hand on Merlin's.

"That a person can treat another in such a manner is atrocious, on that I agree, but the truth is Gwaine that there are those people out there who gladly abuse and hurt others. Sometimes not even to further their own goals, but simply because they have the power to do so" Gaius said.

"its evil" said Gwaine.

"Evil has many forms Gwaine, sometimes it is there for all to see, other times it is wrapped in a maliciousness of false good intent" Gaius told him.

"How do you know the difference?"

"Sometimes it is obvious, other times you never know. It is the thought that gives rise to the intent, that in itself can give rise to the action" Gaius said.

"So Thought and deed are what define evil?" asked Gwaine.

"Thought with the inclination tand the carrying out of the deed" Gaius corrected. "But you know this Gwaine, it is the polar opposite of the knights code to which you are sworn, why all the questions?" Gaius asked softly.

"Because I can't see why anyone would do this or even want do this to Merlin. He never hurt people, he never alienated anyone, except maybe Morgana, and even then he hated to do so, you could see it in his face" Gwaine said.

"Gwaine, you must realise what happened was not because of who Merlin is, but rather of what he knows, namely about Arthur" Gaius said. Gwaine sighed and nodded.

"Gaius, does it make me evil if I want to kill the man who did this to him?" he asked as Gaius stood.

"Only if that makes me evil as well" Gaius replied as he turned and walked away.

* * *

><p>Light was just filtering into the Pharmacy when Merlin slowly opened his eyes and looked around, seeing Gwaine snoozing gently in the chair beside him. Slowly he sat up and pulled the covers back, standing up for the first time in a week. He paused when he heard Gwaine shift softly in his sleep, then moved around him to look at the various shelves and the bottles on them. He picked them up one at a time, looking at the labels, not understanding them. Slowly he put them back, then looked around the room some more, moving to the other bench by the window. There were three bowls set out and he gently picked one up, turning it over before putting it back down. He opened a cupboard, and reached up, wincing as he pulled at a cut on his shoulder, but managing to get some bread down. Slowly he picked up one of the bowls and then pulled at the bread, putting it into it. Nodding to himself, he picked it up and turned, seeing Gwaine and Gaius both looking at him. Slowly he walked forwards and held the bowl out to Gaius.<p>

"Is this right?" he asked gently, his eyes hopeful. Gaius smiled as he took the bowl and nodded.

"Thank you Merlin" he said. Merlin smiled as if he'd just accomplished the greatest feat in the kingdom, Gaius's heart breaking, even as Gwaine grinned broadly.

"Come on then, you should get back into bed, its still early" Gaius told him. Merlin nodded and lay back down, Gwaine tucking him in gently, before he took some of the bread and chewed on it. Merlin for his part looked satisfied, then slowly turned over, trying to get comfortable. When Gwaine looked back at Gaius, he could see the tears in the old mans eyes.

"Gaius?" asked Gwaine. Gaius shook his head.

"It was an unspoken agreement between us, whoever was up first made breakfast" Gaius said softly.

"So he's remembering?" Gwaine asked excitedly.

"Only on a rudimentary level, he did this, but if you were to ask him why, he wouldn't be able to tell you, he just knows it's something that's familiar to him somewhere" Gaius explained. Gwaine nodded sadly, and looked back at Merlin, who turned back onto his back, looking at the two men. Gwaine suddenly stood and turned away, not wanting Merlin to see the tears suddenly forming in his eyes. Slowly he wiped them, then plastering a smile on his face, he turned back to Merlin.

"I'll be back later okay?" he asked, forcing his voice not to break.

"K" Merlin said, as he watched Gwaine leave. Slowly his gaze turned back to Gaius, who sat down next to him.

"Oh I wish I could make you better somehow" Gaius said softly.

"better?" asked Merlin.

"Your mind Merlin, I wish I could treat your mind as well as your injuries" Gaius tried.

"I'm not getting better?" Merlin's voice rose slightly. Gaius smiled and took his hand.

"I didn't mean it like that Merlin, believe me, no matter what's happened to you, I will always love you" Gaius told him. Merlin nodded, but still looked scared.

"Come now, try to get some rest yes?" Gaius told him. Merlin nodded and settled back into the bed.

"Am I wrong?" Merlin asked Gently. Gaius felt his throat tighten and he shook his head.

"You will never be wrong Merlin, not to anyone" he promised. Merlin smiled softly, then closed his eyes and turned over. For some reason, the bread and the bowl suddenly felt very heavy in Gaius's hands. But also, for some strange reason, he found he could not bring himself to put them down.

* * *

><p>"Perhaps if we got him out of the room for a little, took him to familiar places?" Merlin awoke to another voice, one he had heard each day. Slowly he looked over.<p>

"We could, but at the same time I am loath to introduce him to too many experiences at once" Gaius told Arthur.

"What about a ride out to the forest?" asked Arthur. "Just myself and the knights, away from the hustle of the castle, at least for a few hours?"

"Sire…"

"Gaius, I know how you feel, but you yourself have often told me being cooped up in one place too long can also be detrimental. His wounds are healing nicely, the fever is gone.."

"Very well, I'll consider it for tomorrow" Gaius relented.

"I'll take care of him Gaius, I promise" Arthur said. Gaius nodded at him.

"I know you will" he replied. "Just nothing strenuous and just to the edge of the woods" Gaius told him. Arthur nodded.

"Of course" he replied. Then he looked over at Merlin, who was frowning.

"Afternoon" Arthur said as he looked at him. Merlin blinked and looked around, then back at Arthur.

"Afternoon" he replied. Gaius moved over to Merlin having picked up a jug and some food.

"here, eat this you must be famished" Gaius told him. Merlin slowly sipped at the water, then looked over at Arthur who was still watching him. Slowly he paused.

"Is this wrong?" he asked.

"What? Oh no, sorry" Arthur said as gently as he could. "It's just... I'm glad to see you awake old friend" he admitted, then with a quick nod, excused himself. Slowly Merlin looked at Gaius.

"Did I do something?" he asked.

"No, not at all" Gaius assured him. "Now, we'll need to check your wounds later as you're going out tomorrow"

"Don't want to" Merlin said.

"Why ever not?" Gaius asked. Merlin seemed to struggle for words, then shrugged.

"Don't know" he admitted. Gaius smiled at him.

"Merlin, Arthur and the knights will be with you, there's nothing to be afraid of" he said. "Okay?" he asked. Merlin sighed then nodded.

"k" he replied.

* * *

><p>Gwaine returned later that evening, apologising for staying away for most of the day, before sitting down with Merlin and gently talking to him. Merlin listened as Gwaine spoke, not really comprehending much of what was being said, even when Gwaine told a particularly funny experience involving Elyan, a training dummy and a not blunt enough mace. Even Gaius had grinned, but both had fallen silent, when Merlin looked at them expectantly. Soon however it was time for bed, and Merlin settled down to sleep after having his wounds checked one last time for the day.<p> 


	6. Merlin and the Knights

The room was dark, silent save for the subtle clink of the chains on the otherwise bare walls. The door at the end of the room was open, and slowly Merlin crawled towards it. Moving into the next room, he round it was exactly the same as the first. Slowly he looked back, but the door he had entered by was gone, instead there was nothing but bare walls. Slowly he crept towards the next open door, only to be greeted by the same thing.

_You'll never leave here Merlin. You'll always be mine._

The voice taunted him from the darkness, and Merlin looked around quickly, afraid.

_They abandoned you Merlin, stopped the search, you're mine. Lets have a chat, They abandoned you Merlin, Let's have a chat…_ the voice droned on and on, repeating over and over, Merlin holding his hands to his ears and screaming.

* * *

><p>"MERLIN!" Gwaine said as he gripped his friends shoulders. Merlin woke and sat up, tears streaming down his face as he hugged the startled knight.<p>

"Easy Merlin, its okay" Gwaine said patting his back gently as Gaius opened the door to Merlin's small room and looked out.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nightmare I think" Gwaine said. Gaius nodded, as Merlin, still gripping Gwaine like a frightened child looked over at him. Gaius slowly walked over and sat on the bed, Merlin moving to him.

"Oh my poor boy" he whispered as he felt Merlin shaking in his arms.

"Dark" Merlin said.

"Dark?" asked Gwaine.

"I don't like the Dark" Merlin said.

"We know Merlin, but look, see the candles still lit, yes" Said Gaius. Merlin looked at it and nodded. "And Gwaine is here with you. Nothing in the dark can hurt you" Gaius told him. Merlin gulped and took a deep breath, then looked at Gwaine.

"You'll stay?" it was phrased more as a request then a statement. Gwaine smiled and nodded at him.

"Not even the king could get me to leave okay" Gwaine assured him. Merlin nodded and moved from Gaius back to the bed.

"K" he agreed as he settled down again. Slowly Gwaine looked at Gaius.

"you should get back to bed Gaius, I'll make sure he's safe" Gwaine told him. Gaius looked like he was about to protest, then nodded, and with a quick squeeze of Merlin's hand, slowly returned to the small room, closing the door. Gwaine looked back at Merlin and settled back in the chair.

"Promise?" Merlin asked softly. Gwaine nodded.

"Promise" he said, forcing his emotions back down. Merlin slowly turned onto his side and closed his eyes. Gwaine watching him well after sleep had claimed Merlin.

"You'll never be afraid again" Gwaine vowed.

* * *

><p>When Merlin awoke the next morning, he found Gaius and Gwaine already awake, Gaius handing him some food to eat, before he produced Merlin's spare set of clothing. Together the two of them got Merlin dressed, and Gaius handed Gwaine a couple of vials.<p>

"Here, if the pain comes back, give him one of these" Gaius said. Gwaine nodded as he took the vials from Gaius.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he stays safe" Gwaine said. Gaius nodded at him, then smile at Merlin.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Merlin nodded, and stepped forwards, still a little unsteady due to the injury to his leg. Gwaine put his hand on Merlin's shoulder, helping to keep him steady.

"Come on, let's ditch the room for a bit shall we?" he asked, leading Merlin out.

* * *

><p>Out in the courtyard, Arthur, Leon, Percival and Elyan looked up as Gwaine emerged with a pale looking Merlin. Slowly the pair of them stepped down, aware of most of the people in the courtyard looking at them. Merlin paused briefly.<p>

"its okay Merlin, they're just all glad to see you" Gwaine assured him as he led Merlin forward.

"we've missed you my friend" said Leon with a smile as he glanced at him.

"Thank you" Merlin replied, looking at Gwaine, who nodded.

"Who would you like to ride with Merlin?" asked Arthur gently. Merlin frowned and Arthur patted the horse. Merlin nodded and then stepped forwards, towards Arthur. Arthur found himself smiling as he helped Merlin to gently mount the horse, before getting on it behind him. Gwaine and the others mounted their own horses and followed as Arthur led them on a gentle trot out of the courtyard. As they passed the people in the town, Merlin found himself gazing around at the buildings. Some of them familiar, shrouded in a haze, their features both sharp and blurred at the same time, others he could not remember at all.

"Are you alright?" asked Arthur gently. Merlin nodded as he continued to look around, finally noticing the people who were watching as their king and his selected few rode past them. Eventually they left the confines of the city, and headed out into the small valley just beyond the city's limits.

* * *

><p>Arthur noticed Merlin's sudden tensing straight away, and the reason for it came flooding to him a moment later. The last time Merlin had been outside the city he'd been attacked. Something Arthur had hoped Merlin would not have remembered.<p>

"Merlin?" he asked softly.

"Scared" Merlin said as his eyes darted around them.

"Its okay Merlin, we're here, you're not alone now" Arthur assured him. Merlin nodded, but still it took almost fifteen minutes for him to become less tense. They rode in silence for another hour, before the woods came into view, Merlin looking around again, this time in open curiosity as the trees became thicker. Finally, Arthur called a halt when they reached a small clearing, dismounting, before helping Merlin down. Merlin stood near to him as Arthur moved around, before watching with curiosity as Percival tied the horses to a thick tree. Percival noticed him watching, and gestured him over.

"You used to do this Merlin, do you remember?" he asked as he tied the reigns to the trunk. Merlin followed his movements, trying desperately to see something familiar, slowly he shook his head.

"It's okay" Percival told him gently. Merlin carried on watching, unaware of Arthur and the others also watching him. Merlin finally turned away, looking around the tree tops at the birds and squirrels that played in them. Grinning he followed their movements, then stepped forwards.

"Not too far Merlin" Arthur said moving up next to him. Merlin looked at him.

"I just want to watch" Merlin said. Arthur sighed and then nodded, the group moving forwards with him. Merlin's gaze never left the two playing squirrels and when they finally went out of sight he let out a sigh, then grinned at Arthur. Arthur returned it, but remained silent. Merlin did something unexpected then. Slowly he knelt down, wincing at the pain in his leg, before he began to pick up sticks, selecting some of them, throwing others away. Arthur frowned and looked back at the knights, who all shrugged as they watched.

* * *

><p>Merlin spent nearly ten minutes collecting the sticks, before, his arms full he turned and with a satisfied nod to Arthur, slowly began to make his way back towards the small clearing. The knights all followed him, still unsure until Arthur suddenly broke into a grin.<p>

"Firewood" he muttered. "He's collecting firewood" he said again, with a grin. Merlin moved to the centre of the clearing, then knelt down, placing the sticks down before arranging them. Eventually he stood and looked look at Arthur and the others, grinning.

"That's right Merlin, do you remember?" asked Arthur. Merlin looked at the sticks, then at Arthur. Slowly the grin fell and he shook his head, kicking the sticks away in anger. Gwaine rushed to him, turning Merlin away so they other's would not see the tears forming in the young mans eyes.

"Its alright Merlin, you did well" Arthur said gently. Merlin turned and looked at him.

"No! its not!" he yelled, startling everyone. "I'm trying.. I want… Why did they do this to me!" he cried, tears falling from his eyes. Arthur moved forwards, as Gwaine helped the crying man to the ground.

"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry Merlin" he said softly. Merlin wiped his eyes, then looked up at Arthur.

"S'ok" he said. "Sorry" he added.

"I wish you'd stop apologising" Gwaine said gently. "You've done nothing wrong" he said. Merlin looked at him, then back at Arthur.

"Gwaine is right Merlin" he said.

"I don't like this" Merlin said tapping his chest.

"What don't you like Merlin?" asked Elyan gently, stepping forwards.

"Me.. this" he said tapping his chest again. Gwaine looked at him sadly.

"We'll sort this out Merlin, we will I promise" he said. Merlin looked at him, then at Arthur.

"Go home now" he stated.

"Yes Merlin, we can go home if you want" Arthur said sadly.

* * *

><p>They rode back into Camelot, silently, none of the usual banter taking place between them. On the ride back, Merlin had sat with Arthur again, seeming to become more comfortable with his presence. Gwen rushing down as they rode into the courtyard.<p>

"I didn't expect to see you all so soon, is everything okay?" she asked.

"Its fine" Arthur said as he dismounted, helping Merlin down. Although his tone was light, there was a slight edge to his voice, a despair Gwen had seldom heard from him. Gwen smiled at Merlin as he stood waiting, looking around the courtyard. He waved at her, then looked over as Gwaine approached.

"You tired Merlin?" he asked. Merlin nodded. Gwaine took his arm and led him towards the steps. Merlin stopped then turned to face the others.

"Sorry Art'er" he murmered.

"Its okay Merlin, you just get some rest" he replied. Merlin nodded and then, with Gwaine at his side walked up the steps.

"Arthur, what happened?" asked Gwen.

"I thought, I hoped something might jog his memory Gwen. He started collecting firewood, like he normally would, he looked so damned proud when he set it all up, and I had to ruin it. I had to spoil his small triumph" Arthur said sounding disgusted with himself as he walked towards the castle.

"what did you do?" she asked.

"Nothing, I just asked if he remembered what to do with it next, and he lost it"

"Lost it?" she asked, concerned.

"nearly broke down, all because I couldn't keep my mouth shut, again" he snarled.

"Arthur I'm sure no one sees it like that" she said.

"That's the problem Gwen, I do" he replied, as he stalked away from her, Gwen watching her husband moving away.

* * *

><p>Night had fallen across the kingdom, and Merlin sat on the bed, cross legged. Gwaine had not yet arrived having a meeting with the rest of the knights and Arthur, so at the moment it was just Gaius and him. Gaius was showing him some old letters, seeing if anything was familiar to him when there was a knock at the door.<p>

"Yes?" Gaius's voice sounded sharp, the interruption the last thing he needed. A guard stuck his head in the door.

"Sorry Gaius, you're needed in lower town, seems like one of the people has managed to stagger out of the tavern and onto a pitchfork" the guard told him. Gaius rolled his eyes and looked at Merlin. A strong breeze was blowing outside, and he considered taking Merlin with him for the moment, but the last thing he needed was a chill.

"Merlin, I'll have to leave for a bit, you just stay here until Gwaine comes okay?" Merlin looked panicked for a moment. "It's fine Merlin, you know the room, and there are Guards outside if you need them" Gaius told him. Merlin took a deep breath.

"I'll be… fine" he said with a nod. Gaius smiled and ruffled Merlin's hair the way he used to, the way that the old Merlin would moan and complain about. Merlin however smiled and watched as Gaius stood, collecting his bag and some tonics.

"I'll be as quick as I can" he said. Merlin nodded and watched as he left the room.

He sat on the bed for a few silent moments, then slowly stood, walking over to where the bowls were kept.

"Dinner" he said nodding emphatically. He pulled out three bowls and some bread, breaking it up and putting it into the bowls. Satisfied he looked up as he heard the clock bell ring, and moving to the window he opened it, looking out into the dark night. He stood there for awhile, then moved back into the room, which was when a wind blew in from outside, which was when the candle's went out. Which was when the room was plunged into darkness.


	7. Revalations in the darkness

As soon as the darkness hit Merlin felt his pulse quicken, his breathing become ragged. He looked around the room, its once familiar contours now twisted, evil, mocking him with their shadowy recesses. The coloured bottles that lined the shelves near the bed seemed to glow with an inner light, taunting him. And at the end of the room, the small door that led to the little room slowly creaked open.

Merlin found his gaze darting from one area to the next, his mind frantically trying to figure out why someone was hurting him like this. He reached out and grabbed the candle that had blown out, pulling at the wick, looking for something, anything to light it and finding nothing. With a whimper he held it close to himself as he slumped down to the floor. At least if he was on the floor, if anyone was looking for him they might not see him.

He stayed there for only a moment when the small door slammed shut, and with a small cry he moved forwards as quickly as he could, under the bed, pulling tightly into a ball, his eyes shut, his mind waiting for the rough hands he knew would soon find him to grab him and drag him away again. He didn't even realise he was crying, even as he continued to hug the useless, dark candle.

* * *

><p>Gwaine was becoming impatient for the meeting to end, but forced himself to listen to Arthur droning on about patrol schedules, Bandit sightings and other things, however Arthur finally finished the meeting, dismissing the knights. They all bowed, and left the room, Gwaine moving swiftly from the room, towards the pharmacy, he became aware a moment later that Arthur was behind him, so paused briefly, the two making their way up the stairs in companionable silence, passing the guards at the top of the stairs.<p>

* * *

><p>The first inkling that something was wrong was the lack of light as they opened the pharmacy door. The room itself looked relatively untouched, bar the chair that was on its side. The second thing that told them something was wrong was Merlin's frantic sobbing, even though they couldn't see him.<p>

"Merlin?" Arthur called softly as he walked forwards. The sobbing stopped suddenly and there was a shuffle from by the bed.

"Merlin" he called again as he moved towards the bed. Behind him Gwaine slowly knelt down.

"Merlin mate, it's me, Gwaine" he said

"No!" Merlin shouted. "It's him again!" Merlin yelled from his hiding place.

"Who Merlin? Who is it?" asked Arthur as he knelt down. Merlin refused to reply, but Arthur saw his booted foot just near to the edge of the bed. Slowly, without thinking he reached out, putting his hand on the boot.

"Arthur no!" Gaius yelled from the doorway, having just entered and taking everything in. Arthur's hand closed around Merlin's boot and all hell broke loose.

* * *

><p>Arthur, Gwaine and the bed were thrown away from a terrified Merlin, who's eyes were glowing gold, who's hands were outstretched. Gaius rushed forwards, picking up the discarded candle, and lighting the wick with the aid of one of the torches outside. Slowly he moved back into the room, lighting the other candles as he moved slowly towards the crying Merlin. Merlin looked up, his eyes red as he looked over at a shocked Gwaine and an even more shocked Arthur.<p>

"What the hell was that?" Arthur demanded.

"Was that magic?" asked Gwaine. "Did Merlin… Did he use magic?" he asked, looking not at Merlin, but at Gaius. Gaius was lost for words. He'd been afraid that something like this might happen, but for it to have happened in front of Arthur… Slowly he took a deep breath, realising his king was waiting for, and expecting an answer. Merlin for his part was sat up against the shelves, his head buried in his legs which were drawn up to his chest.

"It would seem I have some explaining to do" said Gaius softly. "But perhaps it might best wait until morning?" he suggested. Arthur glared at him, then at Merlin who was looking at him expectantly. Slowly Arthur stood, nodding and rubbing his back.

"Art'er?" asked Merlin, "I'm sorry" he said softly. Arthur shook his head as he looked at Merlin.

"Not sorry enough" Arthur snarled as he stormed out. Merlin watching in confusion, before looking at Gaius and Gwaine, slowly he stood and, wiping his eyes, moved to the bed, pulling it over gently with Gwaine's help.

"Merlin what happened?" asked Gaius as Merlin slowly sat down on the bed, shaking.

"I made us dinner, I was looking outside then it went dark" he said. "What's up with Art'er?" he asked.

"Arthur is…. Just dealing with something at the moment" Gaius told him.

Merlin nodded and then looked at Gwaine.

"It's not your fault Merlin, what happened" Gwaine told him. Merlin shook his head.

"I don't want this anymore. I don't want to be hated and confused and hurting all the time" Merlin said.

"Merlin we'll find a way to help you" Gwaine told him. "Gaius and me, we're not giving up on you" Gwaine told him. "So you, you're not giving up on us okay" Gwaine told him. Merlin looked from him to Gaius, then nodded.

"k" he agreed, with a sniff as he laid down. "Does he hate me now? I didn't mean to hurt him" Merlin said breaking into tears, Gaius pulling him into a hug.

"No my boy, he'll be fine in the morning" Gaius assured him. "now, try to get some sleep" he said. Merlin nodded and Gaius looked at Gwaine, indicating his head over to the corner of the room. Gwaine frowned, but moved with him.

"Gaius?" he whispered.

"Gwaine, as much as I appreciate your helping him, I wish you had not told him we could make him better" Gaius hissed quietly.

"But-" Gwaine began.

"Gwaine, I cannot treat this, The body is easy to heal, but the mind… Gwaine, I have never lied to Merlin, and I will not do so now. I do not know if he even can be treated" Gaius said.

"So you're giving up?" asked Gwaine, anger tinting his voice.

"No, but I am also not about to give the lad false hopes" Gaius whispered. "And if you respected him, neither would you" Gaius stated.

* * *

><p>Merlin looked over at the corner of the room where Gaius and Gwen were speaking quietly. The look on their faces however showed neither of them were very happy. Merlin slowly turned over in the bed, biting down on his lip so they wouldn't hear him crying. They were arguing over him, he knew that. He'd annoyed Arthur, and now, Gwaine and Gaius, and all he'd been doing was trying to make dinner. And again he'd been punished. He jumped slightly as he heard the door close, then shut his eyes pretending to be asleep.<p>

"Merlin?" Gaius's voice was soft as he heard the chair scrape softly on the floor. Merlin didn't reply, but did listen as the old man sighed, feeling his gaze on his back.

* * *

><p>Gwaine was fuming, having left pharmacy, just to get some air. He moved through the corridors, out onto the battlements, where he looked down into the courtyard below, feeling the rage boiling up inside him. Merlin had magic, so what? Had ever hurt them? No, had he done anything to endanger those he called friend? No. Yet with one little act, Arthur had gone from being caring and concerned to outright scornful in one fell swoop. But that hadn't annoyed Gwaine, what had was the fact that Merlin was hurting, he was hurting, he was alone and he was scared, and he might never recover. No one deserved a fate like that, especially Merlin. So it was with a roar Gwaine suddenly turned and slammed his fist into the stone work, feeling the skin break on his knuckles, feeling bruises instantly beginning to rise. Feeling stupid, he winced and waved his hand.<p>

"It didn't help me either" said a voice from the small doorway to his left. Gwaine looked over as Arthur emerged, joining him.

"Sire, I'd like to… just be alone right now" Gwaine said. Arthur stepped up next to him, placing his hand on the stone.

"So would I, but I don't think it would do either of us any good" Arthur told him. Gwaine sighed and turned to move away, Arthur holding a hand up to stop him.

"Gwaine, I know my action's back there were reprehensible, and I'm sorry" he said.

"Am I really the one you should be apologising to?" Gwaine snapped.

"No.. I just… I was a little surprised. Okay, a lot actually" Arthur admitted.

"Well if its any consolation, you won't need to worry about Merlin planning to kill you"

"I never thought that, I could never think that" Arthur said, then he caught on. "What do you mean?"

"Seems like Gaius doesn't think he can help Merlin, so the poor sods going to be like that for the rest of his life" Gwaine said. Then suddenly it hit him, everything from the past few hours, from the woods earlier in the day, and the dam broke. "And its not fair! He was a good, kind person, and yet look at him, look at what serving you has got him! You know what he was trying to do tonight when the candles went out? Make us bloody dinner!" Gwaine said as the tears flooded forth.

"And if I could do anything to ease that guilt I would Gwaine, but I can't all I can do is to deal with what's happened, move forwards and hope that someday I can help him!" Arthur snapped.

"Even with his magic?" asked Gwaine.

"Yes! Magic be damned, I don't give a hell about it! And you know why Gwaine? do you know why?" Arthur asked, his own voice becoming faster and faster. "Because I can finally admit it, my father was wrong! About Magic, about a hell of a lot of things! But its not what's important here, what is is making sure we get Merlin back Because…" he suddenly stopped and took a deep breath. "Because I miss him. I miss him being stupid and clumsy and that irritating grin of his… and the fact he's not there anymore, because despite the fact he's a servant, I love him as I would any blood brother." Arthur said so softly Gwaine hardly got the words. Silence hung between the two men for several heartbeats, then finally Gwaine nodded.

"Arthur I didn't mean-"

"It's forgotten Gwaine, all of it" said Arthur. Gwaine nodded, and looked up towards Gaius's window.

"Is Merlin asleep?" asked Arthur gently.

"I don't know" Gwaine admitted. Arthur smiled and turned away.

"Gwaine"

"Sire?"

"We'll get him back, someway or somehow, we will get Merlin back" Arthur said, then walked back inside. Gwaine stared after him for a long moment, then with a deep breath he also re-entered the castle.


	8. Consiquences

Merlin turned over in bed, eyes partially open as he looked at the sleeping form of Gwaine in the nearby chair. He could see it was getting lighter outside through the glass in the window and quietly sat up, so as not to disturb Gwaine. Quietly Merlin stood and moved to the table, careful not to jolt the knight awake, as he picked up some parchment and a quill. Quietly he wrote down his apology to everyone on it, then being as quiet as a mouse, dressed himself, before leaving the room.

He closed his eyes briefly as he stepped into the empty corridor, remembering the way out of the castle from yesterday. He made his way quickly and quietly down the hall, down the stairs, until, finally he reached the main doors to the castle. There were guards on either side of the door, and both looked over as he approached.

"Where are you going?" asked one of the guards as he approached.

"Out. Air" Merlin said.

"Ahh, well don't go too far" the guard said, not unkindly. Merlin nodded at him.

"K" he agreed and stepped past them into the courtyard. The guards watched him for a moment before resuming their duties in silence. An hour later, as the morning bell chimed, they both became agitated when they realised Merlin hadn't come back in.

"Philip?" asked the guard who had spoken to Merlin, as he looked at his counterpart.

"I know" Philip replied looking out into the empty courtyard. "Arthur's going to have our heads for this"

"Go look go for him, I'll inform the king" Philip nodded and left the building while the other one moved off into the castle.

* * *

><p>"He's <em>what?"<em> Arthur demanded as he burst into the pharmacy, seeing an obviously distraught Gaius and an equally concerned Gwaine.

"Gone sire" said Gaius looking up at him, as he held the parchment Merlin had left behind.

"Where? How?" Arthur demanded as Gwen moved into the room behind him. Arthur's voice became more pleading as he searched their faces for answers. "Why?" he whispered. Slowly Gaius handed the parchment out to Arthur who took it, frowning. It was Merlin's writing, but the spelling was atrocious, that of a child's. He felt a lump form in his throat as Gwen took it from him.

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt Arthur and to make people fight. I'm going now so you don't have to worry about me. Thank you for making me better_" Gwen read. Her face creased up in a frown. "Fight? Hurting people? What's he on about?" she questioned.

"Something happened last night, things got a little strange, but…" Arthur suddenly whirled to Gwaine. "You were supposed to be watching him!" he roared. Gwaine held up his hands, but Gaius intervened.

"Sire, this is as much our fault as it is Gwaine's" he informed him. Arthur looked at him, the anger in his eyes slowly being replaced by a sadness.

"Of course, If I hadn't reacted the way I did.."

"You were off guard Arthur, we all were, no one knew he was going to…" Gwaine suddenly looked at Gwen, then back at Arthur. "To do what he did" he said.

"I don't understand, just what did Merlin do?" she asked, looking from one man to another. Arthur sighed and looked at her.

"Magic. Last night, there was an incident, and defending himself Merlin used magic" Arthur told her.

"_Merlin?"_ her voice was one of disbelief. Arthur nodded, and Gwen looked at Gaius and Gwaine for denial, instead seeing the truth etched on their faces. "Why would Merlin feel he had to defend himself?" she asked.

"It's a long story, really not important" Arthur said.

"Magic no not, we still need to find him, we have no idea how long he's been missing for" Gwaine said.

"At least an hour now, that's the last time he was seen by the guards at the entrance" Gwen said.

"And they didn't wonder just why a man in his condition was wondering around?" asked Gwaine.

"It's not their fault Gwaine, he said he wanted some air, and the fact we took him out yesterday, they figured he was getting better" Arthur replied. Gwaine slumped down in the chair, looking up at Gaius.

"Something else for us to feel guilty about" he muttered.

"Well, despite what happened last night, and Magic be damned, Merlin is missing so rather than beat yourselves up over it, it might be a bit more productive to send out a search party" Gwen said breaking into their thoughts. The men could hear the emotion in her voice, realising that as well as they themselves, he had also been her closest friend, since before and after becoming Queen. He had been the first person outside of Gaius he'd had any meaningful interaction with when he had first arrived. Arthur looked at her, then nodding her turned away, towards the door.

"Get the knights" he said, looking back at Gwaine who also stood. He looked over at Gwen, who held her hand up.

"I'll deal with the council" she said. "Just find him Arthur" she added, then walked out. A moment later Arthur did the same. Slowly Gwaine looked at Gaius.

"I'm so sorry" Gwaine said.

"No Gwaine, I am" Gaius replied sadly as he turned away. Gwaine stood for a moment more, then he too left the room.

* * *

><p>Merlin had left the confines of the city long ago, now finding himself trudging past a muddy bank and small stream, trees all around him. Had he any idea of where he wanted to go, that wouldn't be so bad, but as it was, and as the day draw on, he found himself becoming hungry, tired and lost. The trees all seemingly the same as he passed them. He sat down slowly after a few hours, as much to give his aching legs a rest as anything, but more to try and figure out what to do. The others would be grateful they could get on with their lives now, not having to worry about him accidently hurting people, or having to watch his every move. The only thing that he was becoming agitated about was the fact that it would be dark eventually and he had not found anything he could hide in, away from the man who had hurt him so.<p>

Eventually, he stood again, continuing on his way, moving past bushes with strange, yet somehow familiar flowers growing from them, until he found the woods beginning to thicken, the shadows beginning to turn more sinister. He loathed going into them, but considering his circumstances he had no real choice. So steeling himself he stepped forwards, his body rebelling with every step into the darkness he took. Soon he had gone far enough that even the comforting sound of the stream didn't reach his ears.

He moved slowly forwards, his eyes darting to every branch, every bush, alert, watching for something, watching for _him_ to make an appearance. This was a bad idea, and Merlin found himself struggling to move on, terror eroding whatever resolve he had first possessed, until finally his body simply stopped, leaving him sagging on the ground crying, his skin feeling the oppressiveness around him. Not even the funny squirrels made this part of the woods home. And then it hit him, his situation, his hunger, his aches and pains, and the fact that for the first time since this had been done to him, he was alone. Crying to himself, huddled into a ball he realised just how lost he was.

He had no idea how long he sat there huddled into a ball, shaking, but when something cried out from above, he wasted no time, running forwards through the trees, tears blurring his vision, he ran. He did not look back, afraid to see what had made the noise, afraid to see how close it was. All he knew was that he wanted nothing more now than to go home. So when he suddenly tripped sprawling forwards on the ground, opening wounds again, he found he did not have the strength to move. Instead he slowly looked up, forced himself to look back, watching, waiting for the evil man to appear. When nothing happened he tried to get to his feet, feeling them fall out from under him, and he looked down to see his trousers damp with blood.

"Well, I hardly thought I'd see you here"

Merlin spun around, looking up as a figure loomed over him. Someone, who again was somehow familiar.

"So what brings you to this little part of the woods then Merlin? And alone I might add" Morgana asked in a cruel tone. Merlin looked up at her, slowly reaching out, Morgana frowning at the movement.

"Lost" he said to her.

"What?" she asked. Merlin pointed at himself.

"Lost" he repeated. Morgana tilted her head, regarding him, then she noticed the blood stain spreading on his trousers, and the bruises not yet fully healed on his face.

"What happened to you?" she demanded. Merlin slowly tried to stand, his legs falling out again.

"Hurt" he whispered. He pointed to his head. "Here" he said, then slowly tried to move again, his body protesting as he did so. Slowly he looked up at Morgana.

"Help?" he asked her, his voice soft. Morgana blinked as she looked down at him, at this man who had stood in her way time and again.

"Why should I help you?" she stammered, the audacity of the request almost an affront to her. Merlin looked at her, and held out his hand again.

"Please?" he asked. Morgana took one look at him, then turned away, moving several steps. Slowly she looked back, expecting to see him trying to follow, injured though he was. Instead he was still sat there, holding his hands over his trousers tightly, trying to stop the bleeding from the wound below the fabric, and he was crying, and shaking. Morgana blinked and shook her head, torn, and slowly she moved back towards him, he looked up at her as she again moved to stand over him.

"Sister forgive me" she muttered as she knelt down by him.

* * *

><p>Left alone, Gaius busied himself with menial tasks around the room, the making of poultices, the brewing of medication. Worried or not he still had a job to do. He stopped only briefly to look out of the window to watch Arthur leading the knights out of the courtyard, before returning to his tasks. It was a few hours later that he heard something from Merlin's room, not a thud exactly, more like a creaking as someone stepped on floor boards. He listened for a moment, then shrugging set back to work, only to look up again as the noise reoccurred.<p>

"Is anyone there?" he called out moving forwards. He reached out and pushed the door open.

"Merlin?" he asked, then yelped as a large hand gripped him roughly.

"No" said the man, his eyes narrowed. "Not Merlin" he replied. Then he smiled. "Now then Gaius, let's have a chat" he chuckled, then with Gaius still in his grasp vanished.


	9. Merlin and Morgana

She was going insane, that was the only explanation she could come to as she looked down at the sleeping form of Merlin. Ordinarily she would have paid no heed to his predicament, she would have enjoyed his suffering, but not this time. This time there was something different. This was not the Merlin she had known, this was not the idiot who had stood in her way time after time, ruined plan after plan. This was a child, a lost helpless child.

"Idiot" she muttered to herself. But the point was simple, it wasn't his injuries that had made her help him, it was the complete trust in his eyes when she had brought him here, treating his wounds. A trust she had not seen in many years. Not since… but no, her sister was gone, and this man had at least been partly responsible for that as well.

So why had she helped him? Because of his trusting eyes? because of his pitiful existence now? Because somewhere deep inside she still cared for the man who at one time had been one of her closest friends? No it was none of that. It was because of something far more to her liking she realised. She would of course heal him as best she could, take care of him, then she would return with him to Camelot, and then, then her true motive for helping him would be revealed.

The plan had come to her even without conscious thought. A wonderful irony that Morgause would approve of. She would return the manservant to his precious Arthur, and then she would slowly needle her way back into their good graces. And when the time was right she would topple the kingdom from within. Slowly she looked back down at Merlin and smiled. Yes, it was a wonderful irony that the saving of a servant would lead to the death of a King.

"Get well soon Merlin" she muttered, her tone making it clear she did not mean the words with his best interests.

* * *

><p>Arthur stormed into the Audience chamber, his face impassively blank. Gwen moved to him, taking his hands as he approached, noting Leon moving into the room behind him.<p>

"nothing" Arthur grumbled as he looked at her. Gwen shook her head sadly. "I should inform Gaius" he added, but Gwen shook her head.

"Gaius is missing" she said bluntly. Arthur blinked at her, then shook his head.

"Missing?"

"I went up to see him earlier, to see how he was, the Pharmacy was empty, I told the guard outside to let him know I'd been there when he returned, apparently I caused some confusion because the guard was under the impression Gaius was still _in_ the Pharmacy, he never saw him leave" she explained.

"Wonderful" Arthur spat. "So as well as Merlin running off to god knows where now we have to find Gaius as well" he stated. "And the guard is sure, Gaius never left?" he asked. Gwen nodded.

"Positive" she said. Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Leon, get the horses ready. We're going back out" he ordered.

"sire?" asked Leon stepping forwards.

"I've already lost Merlin to whoever is behind this, I'm not about to lose Gaius as well" Arthur stated, his tone one of anger. Leon looked to protest for just a moment, then nodded and left the room.

* * *

><p>"So it was you" Gaius stated as he sat huddled on the floor of the dark room, regarding the man who watched him impassively. The man tilted his head.<p>

"Me?" he asked.

"Who tortured Merlin, destroyed his mind" Gaius stated. The man slowly smiled.

"Ahh, yes that would be my handy work. Of course if the little fool had deigned to tell me what I wanted to know, well, he wouldn't be a gibbering wreck now" he stated.

"No, he'd just be dead" Gaius spat. The man laughed as he moved forwards.

"Indeed. Its almost like you know me Gaius, tell me, old man, what other observations have you made?" he asked.

"That you're a megalomaniac out for petty vengeance against someone who has done you no wrong" Gaius replied.

"Really? Petty vengeance is it? No Gaius, this is far from petty vengeance" he snarled. "I do not do this because I procure some small enjoyment from it. You have no idea of the pain that has been caused to me" he added. "My Wife, my son.. he was four and Uther had him drowned for sorcery. He had my wife burnt without so much as an inkling of remorse, so no Gaius do not pretend to know my mind and reasons!" he roared.

"You blame a man for the actions of his father!" Gaius yelled defiantly.

"Arthur Pendragon is his father's son! There can be only one response!" the man yelled, his breath becoming ragged. Slowly he got his temper back under control, and when he spoke again his tone was back to the more calm voice he had spoken with before. "Like it or not, Arthur Pendragon will die. But not until I have taken from him everything he took from me. And then, when he realises he is truly alone, I will kill him" he said, turning away.

"Arthur is not Uther" Gaius said quietly. The man looked back over his shoulder at Gaius.

"He's close enough" he muttered, then walked out, closing the door of the darkened cell.

* * *

><p>Merlin slowly opened his eyes and sat up, looking around the small dark hut. It was dark outside and already he could feel the familiar fear creeping its way through his body. Panicking he looked around for the woman who had helped him.<p>

"Morgana?" he whispered. There was a clatter from the other side of the hut and Merlin shut his eyes, hunkering down under the covers.

"I'm here" her voice sounded as she approached him. Merlin looked up and saw her walking towards the bed, slowly she sat down, looking into his fearful eyes.

"Dark. Don't like the dark" he said. Morgana frowned at him.

"Why?" she asked.

"Got hurt in the dark" he said softly, then he looked up at her, hope in his eyes. "Candle?" he asked her. Slowly Morgana reached over and using magic lit the candle with magic. Merlin watching her, fear showing in his eyes as it miraculously lit. He shrank back from her then, as she looked back at him.

"Don't hurt me" he said as he pulled his knees up to his chest. Morgana shook her head.

"Now why would I want to hurt you?" she asked him. "I've helped you"

"Because you have it. Like me" he said. "I didn't mean to hurt Art'er. But I don't know what happened" he said. "All it does is hurt"

"Wait, what do you mean, I have it like you?" she asked, her voice had gone low now, almost cold. "You have magic?" she asked him. Merlin shrugged.

"Dunno. Just hurt Art'er with it" he replied, still fearful. Morgana slowly stood and moved away, her mind whirling with possibilities.

"Merlin, what did you do, to hurt Arthur?" she asked.

"Pushed him away, don't know how" he said. "Just happened" Morgana nodded and looked away again, her features angry.

"Hiding in plain sight" she muttered to herself. No wonder the boy had thwarted her so many times. She thought back to her encounters with the mysterious Emrys, and how, even though he had been an old man, he had still been somewhat familiar. It was so simple now. Of course her plans for Arthur and Camelot would have to wait now, but this was far more important. Slowly she picked up a dagger. _He will be your destiny, he will be your downfall_ the words echoed in her mind as she turned back to face Merlin who was looking at the candlelight as one might an old friend. He could only be her downfall if he still lived.

"Merlin" she said moving back towards him. He looked up at her as she approached again. His eyes going to the dagger she held. His face became a mask of sadness.

"Hurt me?" he asked as she approached.

"oh no Merlin, I'm going to end your suffering. And mine" she said as she raised it. A second later she was thrown across the room to land heavily on the floor, Merlin staggered to his feet, his body protesting with every movement. He moved for the door, his vision blurring as he opened it, only to feel the blade slice into the small of his back. He fell forwards, gasping in pain, wondering again why this was happening, what he had done to be so hated. He felt blood gushing from the wound on his back and looked back to see Morgana standing over him.

"Goodbye Emrys" she said raising the blade high. Merlin tried to throw her away again, but nothing happened, slowly he closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>"MORGANA!" his eyes snapped open, and he looked over to see Arthur and the knights standing on the embankment above them. "That's quite enough don't you think" he snarled. Morgana sneered at him, then her eyes went wide as she looked past Arthur and the knights. There was a loud thud and the other's turned to look behind themselves.<p>

"I quite agree" said Kilgharrah as he looked down at her. Merlin looked at the Dragon, then the dizziness and the events of the day took their toll, and finally there was only blissful silence.


	10. The Lake

Morgana stared at the Dragon as it regarded her with its slitted yellow eyes. Slowly she backed away, looking at Arthur who's mouth was opening and closing, making a nice imitation of a fish out of water as he attempted to figure out what was going on.

"You should be grateful Arthur, after all I was only doing what you would want me to, killing yet another sorcerer!" Morgana yelled at him. Arthur, finally having something to focus on looked at her.

"Sorcerer or not Morgana, you will not harm him" Arthur stated. "Not anymore" he added softly. Suddenly he rounded on the Dragon.

"And you, if you so much as go near Merlin I will have my men slaughter you where you stand" he stated. Kilgharrah chuckled as he regarded Arthur.

"how small your mind is for such a great destiny. I have no wish to harm the young Warlock, and if I had been of mind to, what could you have done about it? Had your brave knights attack perhaps? A futile gesture like the last time?" he said.

"Last time?" echoed Arthur, then his eyes went wide. "You? But I was told I killed you!" he stated.

"Arthur, there is a great deal that you do not yet comprehend. That, as everything else will come in time"

"Merlin.. he told me I killed you. He…_lied_ to me?" Arthur felt the world beginning to fall out from beneath him.

"Only out of necessity, never out of choice. There is much of the young man still shrouded in mystery. At least to you" Kilgharrah said. "Suffice to say I will explain this one thing to you, when a Dragonlord dies the power passes to the son" he stated.

"I know that, I was told as much, but what I don't get is why Merlin would lie" Arthur said. Kilgharrah sighed, then looked up sharply as Morgana approached Merlin once again. She caught the movement, then withdrew again.

"Young King I will explain in time, or Merlin will now that his secrets are being laid bare for all to see, but time is something we have very little of. I felt the Warlock's pain, the shattering of his life's memories into fragments, each vying for domination over the other"

"Is that what happened to him? To his mind?" asked Gwaine, looking over at Merlin.

"Think of it as a mirror, one that has been smashed, a whole now broken, yet each fragment still possessing the image of the original but still fragmented, apart from each other. That is what was done to Merlin, and it is not a state many can live in for long" the Dragon said. Arthur suddenly blinked and looked at him.

"What? You mean he's dying because of this?" he demanded.

"Slowly yes. He does not know this, but eventually his mind will simply cease to function, the fragments will be the smallest slivers of glass within an empty frame"

"Can he be saved? Can the process be stopped?" Gwaine asked, concerned.

"That, is why I am here. Merlin is my kin, my Dragonlord" Kilgharrah stated, looking at Arthur. Arthur slowly shook his head.

"So Merlin is a Dragonlord as well as a… what did you say… Wartlork?"

"Warlock" correct Elyan, everyone looking at him.

"If that is the case, why did it take you so long to find him?" Arthur demanded.

"Because for a while now he has been missing from this world, as if he'd simply stopped existing. Then when he appeared again I felt his confusion, his terror, and then he withdrew, hiding himself from the world outside. It was only when Morgana tried to kill him he opened up once again, allowing me to find him" Kilgharrah stated. "And speaking of, one more step witch and I will burn you where you stand" the Dragon threatened her.

"Really? And risk burning your precious Emrys with me? I don't think so" she replied.

"I'd listen to the Dragon if I were you" Arthur stated as he turned to glare at her.

"You're as insufferable as he is!" she roared. "You despise magic Arthur, why do you now defend someone who has betrayed you ever since you met!" she demanded.

"Because Morgana, he's my friend" Arthur said stepping forwards. "Because Morgana, I trust him with my life" he added as he moved forwards. "And because Morgana, I am _not_ my father. Perhaps that's something you should consider for a long time" he finished as he moved to stand opposite her, on the other side of Merlin.

"Fancy speeches Arthur do not allow for the fact of the horrors you committed while doing his bidding"

"Actions to which you have no idea of the regret I fell about them" Arthur snapped back.

"You would have turned me in in a heartbeat" she snarled, but her voice was wavering now.

"Like I did the druid boy? Or the other magic users I helped escape over the years?" Arthur asked. "Don't blame your downfall on me Morgana, not when you know I would have been there for you"

Morgana looked at him, then down at Merlin, before looking back at Arthur, slowly she turned away, dropping the dagger.

"Have your servant then Arthur, but know this, you were never responsible for my downfall. Nor was Uther, but I admit he was a large part of it. But the truth is, the person responsible for my downfall? He's there, lying at your feet" she snapped, then with Arthur watching her she moved into the small hovel, closing the door. Arthur watched for a few moments, then slowly knelt down, picking up Merlin gently.

"Art'er?" Merlin's voice weakly reached his ears and Arthur looked down at him.

"Its okay Merln, your safe now" Arthur whispered.

"K" Merlin replied, before lapsing back into silence. Slowly Arthur moved up towards the waiting Dragon.

"I don't care what you have to do. Just make him better" Arthur said as he looked at the Dragon.

"I will do what I can, but for this I will require something precious him"

"Like what? He has no real possessions" Arthur stated.

"You think in terms of material objects Arthur. Go to the lake north of Camelot, Take Merlin there and you will see what I am speaking of" Kilgharrah said, then took flight.

* * *

><p>From the window of the Hovel Morgana watched as the Dragon flew off, and Arthur gently lay Merlin across his horse. A part of her wanted to rush out there now and kill them all, but she found herself instead mulling over Arthur's words. Slowly she turned away, brushing tears from her face that she did not realise she was shedding.<p>

* * *

><p>Gaius looked up weakly as the man entered the small cell. As with Merlin, he had taken considerable pleasure in torturing Gaius, but whereas with Merlin he had resorted to physical violence, with Gaius it had been more of a mental torture.<p>

"Back for more?" Gaius asked.

"Just wondering why it is Arthur seems to have so many magic users loyal to him"

"I don't know what you mean"

"Oh really Gaius, please don't treat me the fool. I've been inside Merlin's mind. I know all his dirty little secrets, some of which include your own. I know you once practiced Magic, before the purge, before Uther began killing our kind" he snapped. "And I have to wonder why people like you and Merlin would willingly serve a family so jaundiced against magic" slowly he knelt down next to Gaius.

"Why would that be? Please, humour me if you will" he said mildly.

"I did it out of duty, out of respect for a man who was once my friend" Gaius replied.

"Duty? And this duty to your… friend, did it overrule your duty to your kin?" he asked.

"I did what I had to, and I admit sometimes I felt shamed, but I believed I might one day be able to turn Uther away from the path he was following, or at least prevent him from harming some of those he found"

"Ahh, how magnanimous of you, truly a hero to the people" the man replied. Suddenly he gripped Gaius's hair. "Just one small last question" he whispered. "If you were so intent on saving people, why did you so utterly fail with his Ward?" he asked. He let go of Gaius's hair roughly and stood, before walking to the door. "Think on that old man" he snarled.

"Morgana was doomed the moment she met her sister" Gaius replied. The man stopped moving and turned back to him.

"So you blame her sister? Yet you forget, again I have the memory of you turning her away when she came to you for help, you and Merlin both. Don't try to justify your failure Gaius, its an insult to all three of us" he snarled. Gaius looked up then, blinking.

"Three?" he asked.

"Oh yes, apologies, I did come to let you meet your new cell mate" he said. Then with a grin he moved into the hall.

"Let go of me!"

"No" Gaius breathed as Gwen was shoved roughly into the room with him.

"I've already taken care of his… brother, so to say, now with his wife and Mentor here… Arthur will be a broken man by sunset tomorrow" he stated. "Enjoy your last night" he added, then moved out, slamming the metal door closed.

"Gwen? Are you alright?" Gaius asked as he moved to her.

"I'm fine, a little roughed up but nothing I can't handle" she replied. "You?"

"I was fine until he shoved you in here. What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Arthur found out you were missing as well and set out to find you. I returned to my chambers, then I felt him grab me. I tried to scream, but when I next opened my eyes I was in this god forsaken place" she said. "Who is that man Gaius?"

"I don't know, but I hope Arthur is careful, for all our sakes" Gaius said.

"Arthur?"

"I believe we're the bait in a rather elaborate trap" Gaius told her.

"we need to get out of here" she said.

"I've tried, believe me. If we're getting out of here, its only if someone rescues us" he told her.

* * *

><p>Arthur and the knights arrived at the lake the Dragon had indicated, watching as it landed on the bank. Arthur however was becoming concerned, Merlin had almost stopped moving completely, and even with the bandage Gwaine had insisted they put on his new wound, blood still seeped through it, and looking at his friend Arthur had become alarmed at how pale he now looked, at how shallow his breathing had become.<p>

"Put him on the ground by the water" Kilgharrah instructed. Arthur and Gwaine did as they were told, gently moving Merlin to the bank.

"His hand, immerse it in the water"

"What?" asked Gwaine.

"Just do it Gwaine!" Arthur snapped. Gwaine blinked, then nodded, gently placing Merlin's hand into the water. The Dragon looked down at them, then out at the lake.

"Now stand back" it told them gently. Arthur looked at the Dragon, then slowly moved away, practically dragging Gwaine with him. Slowly the Dragon lowered its head, breathing a fine mist across Merlin's body. As he did so, the surface of the lake began to shimmer and ripple, the knights watching as in the centre of the lake a slender arm emerged.

"What in the world?" asked Leon as a beautiful woman gently broke the surface of the lake, stepping across its waters as she regarded Merlin sadly.

"I know her…" Arthur whispered. "The Druid girl, the one who was cursed" he said. Leon nodded.

"I remember" he said. The men fell to silence as she reached Merlin and knelt down at his side.

"Merlin my love. You're safe now" Freya told him gently. Slowly Merlin stirred and opened his eyes.

"Hello" he said weakly. Freya leant forwards, kissing him gently on the lips. "Help me?" he asked.

"Always my love" she replied as she placed her hand on his chest. Merlin slowly reached up and put his hand on hers. She smiled at him, then looked up at Arthur and Gwaine, gesturing them over. The two men moved over to her and knelt down next to Merlin who looked at them.

"I sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you Art'er" Merlin said softly. Arthur smiled and gently put his hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Its forgiven my friend. Let's just make you better" he said.

"k"

"I warn you both the experience will not be pleasant, I will heal Merlin but you must keep him conscious" Freya said, looking at Arthur and Gwaine.

"What are you going to do?" Arthur asked her.

"restore to whole that which was shattered" she replied. "Are you ready?" she asked gently.

"We are" Gwaine said with determination in his voice. Arthur for his part just nodded.

"Then let us begin" she said. Slowly she leant forwards, kissing Merlin again, before she closed her eyes, her hands beginning to glow.

"Art'er?" asked Merlin concerned.

"Easy Merlin, it's alright" Arthur told him gently.

"But-"

"Trust us Merlin" Gwaine said. "Please" he added. Merlin looked at Gwaine, then back at Arthur as he began to wince.

"It hurts" he said. Arthur nodded, then looked at the Dragon who watched impassively. Slowly he turned his attention back to the now shaking Merlin who was gripping his and Gwaine's hands with both of his as if his life depended on it.

"Merlin, you have to stay awake" Gwaine said. Merlin nodded through his tears, through his terror. Then suddenly he squinted his eyes shut and began to scream.

* * *

><p>Percival, Leon and Elyan looked at each other as they heard Merlin screaming. Percival went to move forwards only to have the Dragon turn its head towards him.<p>

"He's being hurt!" Elyan protested.

"No, he's being healed" Kilgharrah explained.

* * *

><p>"Merlin, talk to me, something, anything" Arthur shouted, panicked. Merlin was still screaming, but his eyes were open and he was looking at Arthur and Gwaine, a look of sadness and betrayal in them.<p>

"Hurting!" he yelled.

"We know, but you need to hang on" Arthur said.

"How long is this going to go on?" demanded Gwaine.

"It is not a simple matter of picking up the pieces and putting them back, I must restore them in order or he will be lost forever" Freya explained as Merlin let loose another scream. Freya was sweating as she worked, as around the group the wind began to whip up like a mini tornado, causing Arthur, Gwaine and the others to shield their eyes. Geysers began to spew from the lake, seemingly in tandem to Merlin's screams, then suddenly everything stopped, everything went silent, the wind died down, the water became still once again. When Arthur opened his eyes again, there was no sign of Freya, and he realised the Merlin was lying lifeless in his arms.

"Merlin?" he asked gently, shaking the man. There was nothing. "Merlin!" he cried out again, even as beside him Gwaine shook his head sadly.

"You promised us!" Arthur roared looking at the Dragon. Without even letting it reply he hugged Merlin tightly. "You promised…" his voice was soft now, just a whimper.

"You know, as wake up calls go, I'd rather Gwen hugged me, maybe even Morgana"

Arthur's eyes snapped open as he looked down at Merlin.

"Your alive" he said, breaking into a laugh.

"My head is protesting that idea at the moment" Merlin said as he was practically tackled by Gwaine. "very probably dead soon though" he said through gritted teeth. Gwaine blinked and let go.

"Oh.. sorry, just glad to see you" he said. Merlin nodded and looked up at Kilgharrah. Then back at Arthur.

"Oh…" he muttered. "About the Dragon…" he began.

"You can explain later, how much do you remember?" Arthur asked.

"All of it. Arthur about the magic…"

"Merlin, do you honestly think I give a damn about that?" Arthur cut in. Merlin frowned and pointed to Kilgharrah.

"and him?" he asked hopeful.

"Him you _can_ explain" Arthur said. "But for right now we need to find Gaius"

"Gaius is missing?" Merlin asked becoming concerned.

"Not for long" Gwaine said. "Are you up to a search and rescue?"

"Just try and stop me" Merlin said.

"Merlin, are you ready to face him?" Arthur asked concerned. Merlin nodded.

"He had the jump on me last time"

"And this time?" asked Percival. Merlin grinned.

"He's never dealt with a mightily pissed Warlock before" Merlin said.

"I feel you should make haste, I have an inkling Gaius is no longer alone in his captivity" Kilgharrah said. Arthur looked at it then nodded, suddenly he stopped and turned to it fully.

"I never thought I'd say this, but thank you" Arthur said. The Dragon almost seemed to smile.

"You and Merlin are destined to work together, I am just doing my part to fulfil that destiny. Until the next time we meet, young king" Kilgharrah said as he took flight. Arthur watched it go, Merlin back at his side where he belonged. Slowly he looked at him, then at the knights.

"Let's finish this" he said.


	11. Merlin and The Man

Gwen was sleeping quietly in the corner of the room, Gaius keeping a watchful eye on her, he knew that if the man returned for her he would try to do all he could to protect her, but he also knew at his age it would not be much. However the hours had dragged on, with no sign of him, and that worried Gaius far more, for he knew it meant he was preparing the final part of his trap to get Arthur. Silently he glanced once again at the brave woman who lay by the wall, watching as she moved uncomfortably in her sleep. A nightmare plaguing her perhaps, or maybe something as innocent as the cold stone floor on which they sat. How Merlin had endured this for a month, only breaking because of the use of dark magic, Gaius found himself both proud of the boy and saddened at what had become of his ward, and now, know he was out there in the cruel world because of a perceived wrong doing, Gaius could not help but feel the guilt for what had happened.

Suddenly Gaius looked up at the door as it creaked open, the man standing there, regarding him and Gwen coldly. Slowly he stepped into the room and put a plate down with a pitcher of water and some bread on it.

"Eat" he ordered.

"I find my desire to ingest food has somewhat left me" Gaius told him. The man chuckled at him, but it was not one of humour.

"You will eat Gaius, or I will force feed you. Believe me I had to do it many times until Merlin learnt that lesson" he stated.

"You take great pride in destroying that boys life" Gaius said to him. "Yet you, who claims his motive is against what happened to your family, your kind-" Gaius said, his voice rising enough to rouse Gwen. The man held up his hand silencing Gaius.

"-spare me the lecture, just because Merlin has magic, he is the biggest traitor to our kind that has ever existed. He not only serves a King who would see us destroyed, he willing destroys those who have a just right to see the king dead" he snarled.

"No. You're wrong about Arthur, your wrong about so many things" Gwen said softly. "Arthur is a kind, decent man, he has no desire to hurt magic users, no matter what their backgrounds. Yes he did things under his father's orders, things he was never proud of, yet now, even though Uther is dead, still… _still_ people hunt Arthur for the crimes of the father" her voice never rose in pitch, never became angry or accusing, but tinged with sadness.

"think what you may _my queen_ the simple truth is orders or not, it _was_ Arthur who became Uther's hunting dog. And now with Uther dead, its is far past time the dog was put down" the man said, then kicked the tray ever so slightly. "Now, I suggest you eat" he snarled, then walked out.

Gwen slowly moved to the tray, pulling the small amount of bread apart, giving Gaius the larger share. He refused at first, but her eyes pleaded with him, _eat, please_. Slowly he began to chew the bread, looking up at the iron door and seeing the man looking in at them.

* * *

><p>Merlin was shivering and Arthur slowly clasped his arm as they stood just within the shade of the woods near to the small fort. Gwaine glanced at Merlin, then at Arthur, but let Arthur speak up.<p>

"Are you alright?" Arthur's voice was soft, gentle as he watched Merlin's face register a range of emotions.

"I remember escaping from here, with Gwaine and Percival. It was… it was the first time I'd seen the place" he said softly. "But the light was too bright, but now I can see it for what it is" he said, not looking at any of the others, just at the small fort. "I can… _feel_ what that place is" he added, then he turned to Arthur. "It's evil Arthur, nothing good could ever survive inside those walls. Not for long" he told him.

"Is this a magic thing or just a general observation?" asked Gwaine. "What? What did I say this time?" he protested as five pairs of eyes turned to look at him. Slowly Arthur looked back at Merlin.

"You're right, it is an evil place" he said. "It's a… sorry it was a holding place for sorcerers during the purge. My father had several of them built to contain those magic users that were found. Even some people who weren't" he did not sound happy as he explained. "A lot of innocent people died behind those walls, some to hunger, some to disease, and some to the inquisitors my Father placed in charge"

"Innocent people, you mean those who didn't have magic?" Merlin asked, not realising how sharp his tone was. Arthur glanced at him and shook his head.

"No, people who healed, who helped others using magic. They were put there as well" he said. Slowly he took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Arthur, I didn't mean…" Merlin said as he Arthur looked away. The king nodded, and taking a deep breath, looked at the knights.

"Gwaine, Percival, you've been inside, what can we expect?"

"Well there weren't any guards when we were here last, the building is a standard layout, five floors, we found Merlin on the third floor where the cells were. There's not much up there except the cells and the room where we found Merlin" Percival said.

"And his torture chamber" Merlin said softly. Arthur glanced at him, then back at the two knights.

"We didn't see that" Gwaine admitted. Merlin let out a humourless laugh as he glanced at them.

"Oh its there" he said.

"No one's doubting that Merlin" Elyan said quietly.

"Right, Gwaine, Percival, you'll lead the rest of us, we'll search every room until we find Gaius, and if we find the Sorc- man as well who's behind this, then we'll deal with him too" Arthur said. Merlin shook his head.

"I'll deal with the man" he said. Arthur looked at him, puzzled. "Look for all he knows I'm still out of action, so to speak. He won't be expecting me to be at full strength".

"It makes sense" Leon admitted. "If Merlin can keep him occupied, it will make the search easier on the rest of us"

"He bested you last time Merlin, what's to say he won't again?" Arthur asked.

"Because I didn't have the use of my magic last time" he said. Arthur looked away back at the keep. "Arthur, please, after what I went through, for you, for Camelot, don't doubt me now" he said. Arthur frowned and looked back at him, wondering how Merlin had completely misinterpreted Arthurs action.

"I have no doubt in your loyalty Merlin, but you need to be sure you can face him. I'm not going to risk you dying"

"It's a risk I have to take Arthur, a risk all of us take, every day just for serving you" Merlin said gently. Arthur glanced at the ground, then back up into the face of this man who had become so much more than just a servant, at least to Arthur.

"You're a brave man Merlin, far more than I could ever be" he said. Merlin grinned at him, the old wonderful cheeky grin that Arthur had not realised he'd missed until that point.

"You're brave as well Arthur, I might me macho with the magic, but I'm not the one who risked everything to go after a lowly servant" he said. Arthur found himself grinning back.

"Prat" he muttered.

"Clot pole" Merlin replied, both of them breaking into quiet laughs. Slowly it died down and Arthur nodded at him.

"Be careful in there" he said. Merlin nodded, then looked at the knights, nodding respect to each of them, before he turned and moved quickly towards the keep in the fading light.

* * *

><p>Merlin felt a small echo of dread beginning to creep into his stomach as he reached the main doors of the keep, the wood rotted away, perhaps by the elements, perhaps by something else.<p>

"Me and my big mouth" he muttered as he passed the threshold and into the dimly lit corridor. Torches flickered at irregular intervals along the corridor, culminating at the bottom of a dark stairwell. Slowly he moved forwards, deciding how best to approach the situation, thinking of anything he could really to stop the build-up of dread in his stomach.

* * *

><p>The man was standing in the darkened room with Gaius and Gwen, when suddenly he looked up, grinning.<p>

"Finally" he muttered. Slowly he looked down at Gaius and Gwen.

"If you hurt him I swear I will kill you!" Gwen yelled. The man looked back at her as he walked into the corridor.

"Sticks and stones my dear, once Arthur is dead I'll have no need for either of you, and I hardly think -! He whirled around, confused as a voice spoke up from the shadows.

"Help please?"

"Oh this is priceless, the wayward servant returns" the man laughed as Merlin moved into view. Merlin looked up at him, then into the room at Gwen and Gaius.

"Come back for more?" the man asked as he reached forwards, only to be thrown away forcefully to go rolling down the corridor.

"No one, and I mean no one hurts my family" Merlin said as he stepped forwards, even as behind him Arthur and the others ran up the stairs. Gaius was utterly confused as Arthur ran in, stopping short at seeing Gwen.

"Gwen?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"I'm fine" she assured him as she ran into his embrace. Gaius however was looking at where Merlin had been a moment before.

"Would someone mind explaining what's going on?"

"I think, Gaius, your host is about to get a lesson in hospitality" Gwaine said.

* * *

><p>"You hurt me, you hurt me in ways I cannot even explain" said Merlin as he advanced on the retreating man. The man stumbled back, into the large room where he had shredded Merlin's mind with his dark magic. He lashed out throwing a bolt of magic towards Merlin, who waved it aside with little thought, even as he continued to advance. "But more than that you tried to hurt the people I care about, and for what? Some sense of justice? Some sense of revenge?" he demanded.<p>

"I don't know how your doing this boy, but I am in control here!" the man snarled as Merlin knocked aside another attack with ease.

"You still don't understand do you?" Merlin asked, almost sadly.

"You dare speak to me like that!-" Merlin held up a warning finger at him.

"I spent a month 'listening' to you. Now its time you listened to me" he warned. "It didn't have to be like this, it _never_ has to be like this, but you, all of you who attack us choose to make it this way"

"Uther chose this path for us! we were peaceful, helping others! And for what? So he could slaughter us in the hundreds? The thousands? You weren't there! You know nothing about what it was like!" the man yelled as the doors opened and the others rushed in.

"What Uther Pendragon did to our kind was reprehensible, it was evil, it was wrong, but by the same token you choose to respond in kind against a man who bares you no ill will. You blame the son for the sins of the father!"

"You have no idea of what I've had to live through!" the man said as he backed towards the balcony, this time when he launched his attack it did graze Merlin, who retaliated in kind, forcing him out roughly onto the balcony, slowly Merlin stepped out, watching as the man staggered to his feet.

"I was right about one thing" the man hissed. "I told you you'd hate me in the end" he stammered.

"Wrong, you have nothing but my pity, and that is all you'll ever have" Merlin replied. The man's eyes blazed as he roared in anger, launching magical attack after magical attack at Merlin. Merlin retaliated aware that more and more of their attack were hitting not each other, but the walls of the fort, which slowly began to groan as supports were ripped out.

* * *

><p>"I don't like the sound of that" Elyan said, as he looked up at the widening cracks in the walls. Beside him Arthur nodded, backing Gwen into the room once again.<p>

"Get them out of here" he said, gesturing to Gaius and Gwen.

"But-" Leon began.

"Now damn it!" Arthur said, as he looked back out at the raging battle taking place.

"Arthur!" Gwen yelled at him. "Please!" she added as he looked at her, torn between his wife, and the man who had already given up so much for them all.

"Arthur.. Go" Merlin said suddenly, not looking back.

"Merlin-" he began.

"I'll be fine" Merlin assured him. Arthur shut his eyes, then grabbing Gwen's hand pulled her quickly from the room.

* * *

><p>The hallway was crumbling, dust and masonry falling in great chunks from the ceiling, Gwen screaming as some of it narrowly missed her. Arthur pulled her aside, then paused just a moment as in front of them the chunks of stone began to bounce off a barrier of some kind.<p>

"Idiot, worry about him not us" Arthur fumed, even as he carried on forwards, down the stairwell, down the final corridor and out into the night. All of them coughing as dust bellowed up from the ground. And at the edge of the forest Morgana watched in silence as she let the spell drop, before slowly turning and walking away, a small smile on her lips.

* * *

><p>"You can't outlast me boy!" the man snarled as he was thrown back again.<p>

"I didn't want this" Merlin replied sadly. The man roaring as he saw Arthur and the others fleeing from the crumbling fort. Teeth bloodied he glared at Merlin.

"What you want and what you get aren't always the same, remember that" he said then raised his hands, energy crackling around them, shooting out in every direction. Merlin ducked out of the way as the man advanced on him.

"Aren't you glad we had this final little chat?" he demanded as he approached. Slowly Merlin looked up.

"Back up!" he yelled. The man laughed at him, then staggered as the floor of the balcony cracked under him, before it collapsed away, sending him screaming to the ground below, the remainder of the balcony collapsing on top of him. Merlin shut his eyes away from the site, the sound of bones being crushed reaching him, even as the man's scream dwindled to nothing. Taking a deep breath, Merlin looked down at the ground, even as the ceiling of the large room collapsed inwards.

* * *

><p>"No… no no no!" Arthur whispered over and over as he, Gwen, Gaius and the others watched the fort continue collapsing strewing rubble all over, before, with a final shudder the entire building caved in, all of them watching in mute silence as the dust began to settle.<p>

"Merlin?" whispered Gwaine, Gwen breaking into tears as she huddled into Arthur.

"A waste. A damned waste" Arthur snarled.

"Sorry Arthur, but I am _not_ clearing that up" Merlin said from behind them, everyone turned, opened mouthed.

"Are you quite alright?" asked Gaius.

"I just remembered why don't teleport anywhere" Merlin said, before he hurried to a nearby bush to be sick.

"Wait, so you, a Warlock, big and powerful.. get.. travel sick from teleporting?" asked Gwaine. Slowly everyone looked at him, even Merlin, before Gaius broke into a laugh, quickly followed by the others, finally it died down, and Arthur moved over to Merlin, shaking his head.

"You…. Never cease to amaze me Merlin" he said.

"It keeps you on your toes" Merlin replied. "So can we go home now?" he asked.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea" said Elyan, the group moving towards the horses.

"Merlin?"

"Arthur?"

"About that Dragon…"

"Now? You want to talk about it now?"

"well, considering a certain person not too far from me told me I'd killed it…"

"Well I don't think you'd have appreciated me telling you I let it go, especially after I let it go in the first place" Merlin said.

"Merlin what are you blabbering – You _what?"_

"See, this is why I don't tell you these things, your face goes all red and you get mad for no reason, and you didn't know I'd released him did you?"

"We, _Merlin_ are going to have a very long chat" Arthur said.

"I see things are already back to normal" said Gaius with a smile. Beside him Gwen laughed.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way" she agreed.

* * *

><p>Later that night Merlin settled down into bed, yawning. Before finally looking over at the candle in his room, watching it flicker gently. With a smile his eyes glowed and it went out. The dark wasn't so bad anymore.<p> 


End file.
